How To Deal
by xxChristiexx
Summary: Follow in the lives of Californian teenagers as they struggle to deal with love, life, peer pressure and everything in between, all while preparing to finish high school. Sequel to New Beginnings.
1. Prologue

**_Oh, sweetheart,  
put the bottle down  
You've got too much talent  
I see you through those bloodshot eyes  
There's a cure, you've found it  
Slow motion, sparks  
You've caught that chill  
Now don't deny it  
But boys will be boys  
Oh, yes, they will  
They don't wanna define it  
Just give up the game and get into me  
If you're looking for thrills then get cold feet_**

Kelly Clarkson, "I Do Not Hook Up"

* * *

**How To Deal**

**Prologue**

_Seven Weeks earlier…_

_Conner turned down his street, feeling the familiar sense of dread as he approached his house. Dinner with his paranoid mother wasn't something he was looking forward to, but hopefully if Sandy was around, then his mother would know better than to start tossing out more crazy accusations. He pulled his Mustang into the driveway, and then glanced in his rear view mirror, doing a double take when he noticed his friends' cars parked farther down the road. There was Andy's vintage Caddy, Tia's Lexus, Maria's Green Taurus and Elizabeth's Jeep. _

_Conner let the engine idle for a second, contemplating what he should do next. His first instinct was to take off and he supposed he could always turn around and go see Taylor but maybe he should just go this over with and go inside to face the music. Whatever they were doing there, he needed them to get the message to leave him alone for good and there was no better time to do it than now. He reached into the backseat and pulled out an almost empty bottle of vodka out of his backpack, taking a couple of swigs that was just enough to relieve the strain of what he knew was about to come his way. They could think he was drunk if they wanted. It was even better. _

_He would just walk right in there, tell them off and then head on up to his bedroom and lock the door behind him. Or maybe he could go and spend some quality time with his girlfriend where he knew he wouldn't be judged. At least he had one person who still believed in him. One person he could count on in times of need, if his friends doubted their belief in him. He was just grateful that she too wasn't sucked into what his friends believed he was or wasn't. He didn't need Taylor believing every word his so called friends told her, especially when it wasn't true. None of it was even remotely close to being true. It might have been the half truth but it wasn't the whole truth. _

_He was glad to know she hadn't turned on him. At least, he had his girlfriend on his side, if she was the only one. So he liked to drink alcohol. He liked the smooth transition of it going doing his throat. But that didn't make him an alcoholic. It didn't mean he had a problem. His mother was the recovering alcoholic. Not him. She was the one who used her privileges as a member at the country club to indulge on enough alcoholic beverages to become tipsy and make a fool of herself in front of the people she knew, only to have a phone call in the middle of the night saying to come and take her home because she's not fit to drive home on her own. _

_He turned off the car and made sure to slam the car door extra loudly when he got out so everybody inside his house would know he was home. Then he sauntered up to his front door, almost looking forward to the chance to getting the annoying do-gooders inside his house off his back. _

_It's Showtime, he thought as he pulled open the door and walked through the short hall into the living room, finding a heavy built up of silence surrounding the room. When he stepped into the room, they were all there—his mom, Tia, Andy, Evan, Maria and…Megan and Taylor._

_Fury coursed through him at the sight of his little sister and girlfriend sitting side by side each other on the couch, staring at him with wide, scared eyes._

_How dare they bring them into this? He thought he'd at least be defended by the two people he cared for the most. But here was his sister and girlfriend, and they were pitted against him. Unbelievable!_

_The silence was interrupted by the sound of his name, coming out in the softest, quietest tones he had ever heard. But he could still recognise the voice and his eyes went straight to Taylor, who looked away, unable to see his reaction, before he turned to Tia._

_She met his gaze, her green eyes filling rapidly with tears. "Conner," she repeated, louder this time._

_His breath caught, and emotions he hadn't thought were possible soon flooded his body and he was unable to move. Instead, he just stood there on the spot in shock, not knowing what to say to these people. He tore his eyes away from hers and stared down the rest of his friends, trying to make his absolute loathing clear. If they wanted to stage a stupid little intervention for him then fine. So be it. But Megan was here. Taylor was here. And that was too much—way too much. _

_He balled his hands into fists, feeling his face grow hot under the collar, and then he spun around on his heel and started to head for the door. He didn't know where he was going to go but he knew that he had to get out of here. He couldn't take it any longer._

"_Conner—wait," Tia blurted out. He turned not, quite looking at her. He'd let her say whatever she wanted to say and then he was getting the hell away from everybody, including Megan and Taylor._

"_Conner," she said, "we're here because we love you."_

_What a bunch of crap? They loved him. If they all loved him so much, then you'd think they would leave him alone and let him be, let him live his own life the way he wanted to live it. But no, they had to interfere until they voiced their opinions about the way he should be living his life. They needed to have a say and it was enough to drive him completely insane. They couldn't just ignore what was happening._

_They were all watching him as he stared around the room at his family and friends sitting in his living room, wondering who was going to speak next. _

_He wanted to walk straight out the door, leaving them all behind, but this time he had no place else to go. He couldn't go to his girlfriend's place seeking comfort. She was here and he couldn't go to Andy's or Evan's. They were both here. He really didn't have anywhere to go. Besides, he kind of wanted to stay and see who would be next to have the courage and tell him he had a drinking problem._

_Conner stared back at Tia, barely able to believe the words that she had spoken. Well, actually she could believe them. She was Tia. She was known to be outspoken. But all he wanted to do was tell them to shove their little intervention like it was really helping—confronting him about the drinking problem he supposedly had. _

"_It's about your drinking problem," Tia backed up and his entire body went rigid as he moved his gaze to his supposed best friend. She kept her wide brown eyes focused on his face without flinching, but he knew well enough to recognise the slight tremble in her lips and voice that always came out when she was trying to hide her emotions._

_He heard Megan let out a small, choked noise and the anger that he had been building inside him since he walked in the door reached boiling point. _

_And whatever had been holding him here released its grip and Conner whirled around, storming toward the front door. He shoved open the door, reaching into his pockets with his other hand for the keys to his Mustang, the keys jangling in his hand. A few more feet and he'd be behind the wheel of his Mustang. _

_Seconds later he was out the door as heard foot steps behind him. He didn't dare glance around to see who had bothered to chase after him. He didn't care who it was. He just knew that he was out of there. As he opened the car door and got in, closing the door, he looked back into his rear view mirror and saw Tia closing in behind him. _

"_Conner, wait!" She called out frantically to him, but he didn't stick around long enough to hear her out. Instead, he put the key into the ignition, turning the car on and pulled out of the drive way. He didn't know where he was driving to, and quite frankly, he didn't care. All that mattered was that his house and so called friends; family and girlfriend were out of view and he kept going until he couldn't see them anymore._

* * *

_Monday morning Conner turned off his car as he sat out the front of Taylor's place, ready to face up to what he had done to her when he skipped town._

_He knew he had hurt her because he saw Tia last night and she had said how Taylor wasn't sure what to make of their relationship anymore. It was when Conner knew he had to confront her after many weeks of making her wonder whether the two of them were even in a relationship or not. He couldn't bear to think he had made her wonder in the first place. He wouldn't let himself hurt her anymore than he already had. He wanted to spare her the pain of having her heart break all over again._

_As Conner got out of his car, realising he had sat long enough and he needed to get it over and done with, he thought back as to how his conversation with Tia had gone down the night before. She had reacted as he had expected her to react. She had been concerned for him but she also understood that he needed to deal with everything he was putting himself and everyone else through in his own way. But she was just glad to know he was okay and that he was going to get the proper help he needed to overcome this addiction. He supposed he could have done both Tia and Taylor in one night considering they lived next door to each other but he knew that one conversation would be harder than the other and at the time, he wasn't sure what he was to say to Taylor so he thought it'd be best if he waited until this morning. _

_But even now, he still wasn't sure what he should say to Taylor other than sorry. He knew he owed her one heck of an apology and that it was all he hoped he was expected to do, though he also knew she deserved a better boyfriend than he had been to her. At least he had expected Tia's reaction considering he had known her since grade school but Taylor was a whole other story—one Conner wasn't sure what to expect from her. Should she be angry at him for skipping town without telling her where he was going? Would she be angry? Would she be happy to know he was back and in one piece? _

_He walked across the Morris' green front lawn, stepping onto the porch as he pressed in the door bell, waiting anxiously with his hands in the pockets of his baggy blue jeans._

_Conner heard noises inside followed by the scuffing of feet on the floor before the side window curtain opened slightly as Taylor appeared, her face showing signs of contentment which lifted Conner's spirits, knowing she wasn't holding resentment toward him._

_She disappeared then seconds later, he heard the door being unlocked then it opened as Taylor stepped out dressed in pale blue skinny jeans and a grey polar fleece hooded sweater, reading the letters SVH. Conner stepped away as she closed the door behind her and walked toward the swing chair on the porch._

"_Hi," she said as she took a seat. She crossed her legs and pulled the sleeves of her sweater over her knuckles, clasping her hands in front of her body as if they could act as some sort of barrier between them._

_Conner paced the porch, unable to stand in one spot, afraid of what would happen next if Taylor's father came outside. He figured he wasn't the most popular person to be seen around here because as it was, her father had been cautious of his daughter dating him to begin with. _

_Taylor looked up at him and instantly picked up on his uneasiness. She opened her mouth to talk, trying to calm down his nerves so that the two of them could have a proper conversation together._

"_It's okay. You can sit down. My dad was the one who told me to talk to you." Taylor chuckled at Conner's widened and amazed eyes. "Yeah, I know. I was surprised too."_

_At her request, Conner sat down beside her, avoiding eye contact. Instead he set his eyes on one spot on the ground. He didn't dare want to see the hurt and confused look in her eyes. He had already seen her face hurting once before at the intervention his family and friends had tried to give him. He didn't need to see the emotion again._

"_But your dad is right. We do need to talk," said Conner as he searched for the right words to say and at the same time, he found his voice hoarse with uncertainty. He wasn't sure what to make of their future anymore and if they even had one together. "Before I…I just thought we should talk."_

_Taylor gripped tighter onto the side rail of the chair, her knuckles turning the colour white. By being in his presence, she was a bundle of nerves, and she didn't know why. She had never been this nervous around him before; then again, a lot had happened since she and Conner started dating. She had never expected she'd be dating a guy who would later develop an addiction to alcohol. But she was and so she had to work out where she stood with him. For the sake of their relationship and her heart, she needed to know if she was even in a relationship with him, one both of them was committed to._

_Conner used his hands to grip tighter onto the edge of the seat. _

"_So I'm going to rehab. My mom got me into the program she went to."_

"_That's great, Conner. I'm really happy for you."_

_Conner still wasn't sure what he should say, but at least she had been happy to know he was going to a rehab program. Sure, Taylor had appeared happy when she saw him but unlike Tia who had hugged him as soon as she saw him, Taylor continued to keep her distance from him. She was probably still cautious of whom he had become and Conner didn't blame her. He'd do the same thing. _

_Taylor watched Conner look down at the ground. Had she said the wrong thing? Did he want her to say something more? She really didn't know what she should say in response to him and truth be told, she just didn't know what she was supposed to say to Conner anymore. Too much had already happened between them and recent events had definitely made an impact toward their shattered relationship. As much as she would have liked to forget all that had happened and go back to the way they were, she knew they couldn't. None of it could be erased like it didn't happen. And both Taylor and Conner knew that, but life went on and you just had to learn to go on, knowing what you know._

"_When are you going?" Taylor croaked out, just barely getting the words out._

"_My mom managed to get me in today," he went on to say. "I would have come to tell you last night when I saw Tia…but I…couldn't really deal with confronting two people I hurt."_

_Taylor felt every bone inside of her loosen up slightly. She could see that he did want to change, that he knew he needed help and by helping himself, he was confessing to the people who he had hurt the most._

"_I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I know was a jerk for the way I went off without telling anyone where I was going. I treated you badly and for that, I truly am sorry."_

_At least he had the decency to tell her how sorry he was. She guessed it was a start. He was trying to make amends for all the wrong he had done lately._

_She forced herself to meet his gaze, finally feeling a twinge of real emotion as she stared into his hazel eyes. It was like a conversation between two people who barely knew each other, not a couple who just weeks ago had been so close. Scenes began to roll through her mind as she sat there, her body tight with nerves. Conner kissing Tia. Conner drunk. Conner wild and out of control. Conner yelling at her and trying to throw her out of his house. He hadn't been the same guy she fell for. She hoped that guy was still there, he was just buried deep down inside and maybe the guy she fell in love with would end up coming back to the surface really soon._

_She wanted to desperately reach out and help him but a part of her was reminding her of all the pain he had caused her when all she had wanted to do was help him. He hadn't wanted her help then so why would he want her help now?_

_Conner cleared his throat. "So I was thinking that it wouldn't be fair to make you wait for me while I'm away. _

_Was he breaking up with her? Oh, crap! He was. Even after everything he had put her through in recent weeks; she wasn't expecting him to break up with her. Okay, so she guessed he thought it was best for them right now and she was thankful to know that he was thinking of her but to call it quits. Did she really want to go there? She wasn't so sure. _

_She didn't need him to say any thing else. She knew what he was trying to get at. He had only come to see her because he wanted to break up with her. She had never been dumped before, so she didn't know what it was supposed to feel like. She had always been the one who did the dumping. She was the dumper not the dumpee. What was she supposed to feel? _

_Was she supposed to be angry? Check. Confused? Check. Sad? Check. If there was a word for all three then she'd be it._

_Conner ran a hand through his hair. "What I'm trying to say is that maybe it'd be best if we took a break, at least until after I've returned from rehab."_

_What was she supposed to say back to him? Okay, yeah, that's a great idea. Let's break up. It wasn't how she imagined a break up should be. Break ups were never an easy thing to do, no matter how much people claim you'd be in the long run. It wasn't what you anticipated it to be in your head._

"_Uh…okay," Taylor stammered, fumbling with her hands._

_His gaze flicked over her face but neither Conner nor Taylor said anything else. As of this moment, Taylor wasn't sure if she wanted him here anymore. She wanted him gone but not out of her life if that made any sense at all._

_Conner stood up, rubbing his hands along the front of his jeans. He looked down at Taylor, his eyes intent as he watched her closely, obviously looking for some form of reaction from her. But all he got was a glum smile. Was she glad he had decided to enter the cool down phase of their relationship? Why couldn't he read how she really felt? He had used to be able to look into her eyes and instantly know what she was thinking._

_There was something in his voice that made her look up at him and for a second, she remembered everything she used to feel when she was near him. How his shirt smelled when he held her against him. The way her body reacted every time he kissed or touched her, but they were old memories and obviously not enough to make everything that had happened to just go away on its own. It was too late._

_Still, she ached for one last hug from him. And as she rose to a standing position, she stepped forward into him as he embraced her affectionately, looping her arms around his neck and burying her face into his chest._

"_I miss you," she let the words she had been dreading to say come out in a soft, low way._

_Conner squeezed her back, letting her know that it was okay, that everything would work itself out. "I miss you too." He kissed the top of her head, taking in the familiar smell of her strawberry shampoo._

_Conner could have stood on the porch with Taylor forever but he couldn't because the longer he stood there, the harder it was going to be to tear himself away from her. He didn't want to leave her but he knew that in order to help himself through this recovery, he needed to part ways with everything that meant a lot to him. He hated to see her on the verge of tears and just wanted to hold her tight and tell her that everything would be okay but he couldn't because he didn't know if everything _would_ be okay._

_Using all the strength that he could muster together, Conner pushed himself away from Taylor, placing his hands on either side of Taylor. "You should get going to school before I make you late," he said. He searched her eyes with his own. "I'll try to call you soon."_

"_You promise?"_

_There was a word he liked to avoid whenever possible but for Taylor, he was determined to keep his promise. He wasn't going to shatter her heart again._

"_I promise."_

_And as Taylor watched Conner walk back to his car and drive away, she sank back down onto the swing chair, unable to collect the courage to drag herself off to school. She had just had her heart broken and there were no words to describe what she had just gone through than utter lack of sensation. _


	2. Maybe Someday

**_I'm taking this one step at a time__  
I'm letting go a little more everyday  
But moving on doesn't feel right  
I still think about you every single night  
I guess I gotta give it for you a little more time_**

Jordin Sparks, "One Step at A Time"

* * *

**Chapter One**

_Three Weeks ago..._

___Taylor__ waltzed into her house carrying four bags from expensive shops after spending up a small fortune during a shopping spree with Annie and Brittany._

_She figured that the shopping spree had something both Annie and Brittany had conspired together in an effort to have her come out of the house and stop moping about while she waited for a phone call from Conner. Conner had been in rehab for four weeks now and he had promised to call her soon but so far, she had yet to get his call. It wasn't that she missed his call because she made sure to never go anywhere without her phone. She didn't want to miss it for when he did call her. Taylor got that Conner was busy trying to get over his addiction but still, he had promised to call her. It wasn't like him to break one of the promises he made to her. He never broke a promise-well, not one __Taylor__ knew of._

_Call her crazy, she was trying to move on without Conner, she just didn't want to completely forget about him either. There was a part of her that hoped he'd come home and want to rekindle the relationship they had had before everything turned sour. She knew it was a long shot but she didn't care. It was all she could think about and as much as she had tried to say yes to guys when they asked her out, she always managed to turn them down, knowing that she wasn't completely over Conner and probably wouldn't be until she knew for sure that it was over between the two of them. Then she'd start dating again. _

_"Mum. Dad, what's the matter?" she asked her parents when she walked through to the main living room and found both of her parents sitting together on the couch._

_They looked up from a piece of paper they were reading._

_"I would ask if you had fun shopping but I think the bags are a good enough answer," her father noted._

_Taylor sheepishly glanced down at the bags she was holding, setting them down on the floor. "Yeah, but don't worry, I didn't go overboard." She meant that she didn't max out the emergency credit card her parents gave her or spend all the cash still being kept in her Chanel purse._

_Her father sighed relief. Without saying anything, __Taylor__ knew what he meant-good, I won't see my bank account decrease as rapidly as I usually do._

_Taylor__ raised her eyebrows, spotting the paper in her mother's hands. "What's that?"_

_"An acceptance letter into a three week program at a prestigious dance school in __New York City__," her mother said. "I found it when I emptied your clothes hamper. Why didn't you say you were accepted into a dance program?"_

_"Why didn't you tell us you applied to a dance program?" her father added._

_Taylor__ shrugged, sitting down on the sofa opposite her parents. "I don't know...I guess I wasn't sure if I should go or not. I only applied because I didn't think I'd get in. The program runs this time every year and according the school's website, not everyone who applies is guaranteed a spot into the program because they only offer thirty positions to the truly talented dancers. I didn't think I was that good of a dancer."_

_"Honey, I always knew you were a talented dancer. You've always had a passion for dancing," her mother told her._

_"But, you have to say that. You're my mother."_

_"Well, yes, that's partly true, but obviously these people at the school think you've got talent as well or otherwise they wouldn't have offered you a spot in the program."_

_Taylor knew her parents were right, but she couldn't go. The timing was all wrong. What would she do about school? Yes, she could probably afford to miss three weeks of school since she was well ahead in all of her classes. But she had only applied to the program when Conner had been missing in action due to the explosive intervention his family and friends tried to give him. At the time, she had nothing better to do other than worry about her boyfriend and so she had filled in an application, sending in a video with it._

_"I guess...but what about school? Do you really want me missing important school days?" __Taylor__ asked, determined to find fault in something that meant she couldn't go to __New York__ because her parents wouldn't allow it. Though, she knew that the only reason she didn't want to go was because she wanted to be here when Conner called. She kept telling herself that he would call her because he had promised her. And it was the only thing keeping her sane._

_"Of course not, but sweetheart, this is an opportunity you can't pass up," her father said. "And we've already spoken to your guidance counsellor. He seems to think you'll manage fine for three weeks. Apparently, your grades have maintained well above average this year. You won't have to work hard to catch up when you resume school in three weeks."_

_Taylor__ should have known that her parents would have done their research before committing to something like allowing her to miss three weeks of school to dance. They were always thinking of her education because making sure their children got an education was their top priority and they made sure their children knew that too._

_"I understand if you don't want to do it and your dad and I will support you either way," her mother sympathised with her. "But I think you should strongly consider going. You wouldn't have applied if you didn't want to go. And I'm afraid that if you don't go, you might regret your decision later."_

_Taylor__ knew that her mother was right. She did want to go but by going, she didn't want to give up thinking she and Conner didn't stand a chance at being together again. She hoped they did. But she couldn't miss out on an opportunity like this. And she'd have her phone with her for when he called her. She wouldn't miss his call. _

_"Actually, I think I do want to go," she said at last. _

_"Well, then, you better get packing," her mother glanced down at the piece of paper in front of her, "because you have a deadline." She looked up at her daughter. "When did you receive this letter?"_

_Taylor__ shrugged. "I don't know...I can't remember."_

_"Well you're supposed to be there by Monday which means you've got this afternoon to pack so that we can purchase you a plane ticket to __New York__."_

_Taylor stood up and leaned into her parents, embracing them in a quick hug. "Thank you. You're the best. I love you," she said before she rushed out of the room and headed up stairs towards her bedroom. When she got to her room, __Taylor__ dropped her bags onto her bed and smiled to herself. Okay, so Conner hadn't called her just yet but she didn't care. She knew that he'd call her eventually. He had promised her and yes, he was in rehab to get better but she also knew that he'd make the time to call her because he wouldn't make a promise he couldn't keep-especially to her. But she couldn't sit and dwell on playing the waiting game. _

_It was pure torture and she wasn't going to torture herself nor was she going to get herself worked up over a phone call that would happen. So she'd go do something she knew Conner would be happy to see her doing. It was only for three weeks and it wasn't like she'd miss his phone call. Even in __New York__, she'd still have her phone with her. She pulled her phone from her jeans pocket, quickly glancing at the LCD screen to check the time, wishing he'd call her already before she gave up and tossed it aside onto her bed as she made her way to the other side of her bed, opening up the door and walked into her semi organized closet. She had too much to do to continue thinking about when Conner would call her. She needed to pack but the first thing she needed to do was work out what clothes she'd take to __New York__ with her. _

_She came out with a handful of designer named jackets still on their coat hangers._

_"Mum!" She called out as she walked out of her room, not bothering to notice the sound of the phone ringing on her bed, reading '_Conner cell'_ on the screen._

* * *

It was a typical day at the airport in Los Angeles as everybody continued to make their way to and from the places they had to be. And in the middle of the crowded airport, Taylor was spotted walking away from the flight gates as she exited the plane that had brought her back to L.A from New York. And unlike before when she boarded the plane headed for New York so that she could take part in a dance program at an elite New York dance school, this time, a number of things had changed about her that she hadn't been sporting when she left the city.

And as she loaded her bag into a waiting taxi before she climbed in, giving the driver the address of her destination, Taylor tossed her Brazilian brown coloured hair over her shoulder and sighed as she let the cast on her leg rest, ready for whatever drama was planned for her as she settled back into life. A part of her hoped she and Conner would get back together following his recent struggle with alcoholism but one thing was for sure-she was a new and improved and even edgier Taylor and nothing or no one was going to get to her the way it used to because she had come too far to back down now.


	3. Forever And Always

**_Once upon a time__  
I believe it was a Tuesday  
When I caught your eye  
We caught onto something  
I hold onto the night  
You looked me in the eye  
And told me you loved me_**

Taylor Swift, "Forever and Always"

* * *

**Chapter Two**

"Hello?" Taylor called out to an empty foyer as she walked into her house after the taxi dropped her off.

When she got no answer, she sighed, dropping her keys onto the side table near where a mirror hung and guessed that no one was home because otherwise she would have been greeted by either her parents or younger brothers.

"Great," she said aloud to herself. "Why is it that when I want privacy, everyone is around and when I want to talk to someone, I am all alone? This totally sucks."

She could never understand the concept of her family.

Just then she felt her phone vibrate through the pocket of her black skinny-leg jeans. Fishing it out of her pocket, Taylor read Annie's name on the caller I.D, a grin appearing on her face at the thought of hearing from her best friend so soon after returning home. She couldn't wait to see her and catch up on all the gossip she missed while she was in New York City.

"Hey, Annie," she said into the phone when she answered the call as she walked into the fairly spacious kitchen, her heeled shoes sounding on the marble floor.

"Hi, Taylor, I wasn't sure if you'd answer your phone. I figured that you may or may not still be on the plane so I was just going to leave you a voicemail but I am so glad that you're home," Annie replied. "I missed my best friend."

Taylor could barely hear her friend over the excessive noise on Annie's end of the line. She guessed she was out somewhere, but she was also glad to hear from someone she cared about-even if it wasn't her mother and father.

"Thanks, I missed you too. Where are you?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm at House of Java with Brittany, Chloe, Grace and Abigail."

So she'd go and meet her friends at House of Java. She may need a rest and that meant to sleep but right now, she also didn't feel like being alone. She had sat alone on the plane with no friends or family to talk to for three weeks. She missed them. She'd catch up on her sleep later.

"Cool, then I will meet you there. I'm on my way now," Taylor said.

"No, we'll come to you. I'm sure you're exhausted. There's-"

But Annie was cut off when Taylor said bye and ended the call, sliding her phone back into her pocket, placing her bag down onto the floor near the entry to the family room. She'd unpack later. Then she picked up her keys and with a brief look around the house as though she was realising that nothing had changed, she walked back through the hall and was out the door.

* * *

Five or ten minutes later, Taylor paid for her taxi fare and emerged into House of Java, spotting her friends sitting on one of the purple plush seats in a corner booth. They were laughing about something when she joined them.

"Hi, guys," she said. "What are we talking about?"

Grace was the first to rise to her feet and embrace her friend with a hug.

"Oh, it's so glad to have you home. I've missed my chats with you."

Taylor looked sceptical, prompting Grace to continue. "No, seriously, you're the only one who actually understands _Brittany _when she's talking."

Brittany just narrowed her eyes, looking scornful while the others laughed, including Taylor. She and everyone else who knew Brittany loved her and her eccentric ways of life.

As she said hello to each one of her friends, sitting herself down in the only vacant spot beside Chloe, Taylor let her eyes wander ahead towards another table, falling onto someone particular sitting there-Conner. She couldn't see his face, but rather the back of him only, though still, she knew what he looked liked-well the back of him anyway. She did go out with him. But it wasn't that seeing her ex boyfriend again in a little over two months that gave her the chills up and down her arms.

It was the fact that he was whispering into the ear of a girl she didn't know. Who was this girl with red curly hair? What was her name? How did she know Conner? All these questions began running through her mind at a fast pace and the fact that she didn't know the answers to them bugged her. Was this girl the new girlfriend? It was all she could think of. There were not nearly enough words to muster the courage to say anything.

Annie and Brittany followed their friend's gaze until their own fell on Conner and the curly haired girl, whoever she was.

Annie then turned back to Taylor, her face showing concern for her friend. "That's why we thought we'd come to you."

So there had been a reason as to why Annie had wanted to suggest she come to her. Taylor loved that her friends had tried to think of her feelings in this whole situation but Taylor figured that at least she was finding out now before she put her heart on the line for a guy who had already moved on without her. She didn't need heartbreak all over again. Okay, so she hoped she and Conner would find their way back to each other but obviously he had alternate plans-separate from hers. It was no big deal. There were plenty of fish still in the sea. So why did she feel like she had just had her heart ripped out from beneath her all over again? Why did love have to hurt so much that she couldn't breathe and think properly?

"Love stinks," Brittany said, trying to make her feel better.

_You got that right_, Taylor thought to herself.

Chloe sat in sympathy with her, hugging her gently. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

Brittany crossed her arms on the table. "Apparently they met in rehab so-" Brittany was harshly stopped mid-sentence when Abigail scolded her silently, gently punching her in the shoulder.

But Taylor didn't want her friends to feel sorry for her. She wasn't the kind of girl who needed people to feel sorry for her. She took it in stride that if it was supposed to end a certain way then it was going to happen. End of story. And apparently, God had other plans for her. She just wasn't supposed to be with Conner at this point in time.

Taylor sat up, gazing back over to Conner's table, this time, smiling at Tia who was smiling back at her after noticing her in the café. She began to rise to her feet and looked around at her friends. "Whatever. Can we just go now?"

"Yeah, okay," Grace said, looking at the others, searching for reason within them. Annie shrugged her shoulders. No one knew what to say but they went along with their friend's suggestion. None of them wanted Taylor to feel uncomfortable knowing she was sitting a few tables away from her ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend. She was their friend and they all knew that Taylor didn't want to be here when her ex was also here.

The others followed her out of the booth as Taylor watch Tia usher over to their table but Taylor respectively declined, shaking her head and waving goodbye as she turned and headed out the door.

"So do you know who she is?" Taylor asked Brittany. Word was that Brittany knew who was dating who and which two were hooking up. It was why Taylor had asked her. There was not a doubt in her mind that she didn't think Brittany wouldn't know the name of the red haired girl.

"Her name is Alanna," whispered Brittany. "And she has nothing on you. You and Conner made a hotter couple than he does with her."

And as Taylor took one last glance back at Conner, she realised that Brittany was right. This Alanna girl did have nothing on her because she had everything on her. Conner and Alanna were more alike than she ever would be. She and Conner were just not meant to be. It was as simple as that.

* * *

Conner looked over at Tia, following her gaze and found out who she was waving to-Taylor. He had been told by Megan that she had travelled to New York to partake in a dance program at a top dance school but he hadn't even known she had arrived back in town. Now he couldn't begin to imagine how she must be feeling when she saw him and Alanna together. No, he knew exactly how she'd be feeling-hurt. He could read her like an open book. Sure, he and Taylor had called it quits but he still cared about her very much. He probably always would because she was his first real relationship. He could never really forget about her. Conner never intended to have Taylor find out about Alanna this way. He had planned to tell her face to face and had he known that she was here, he would have talked to her. He just hoped he'd get a chance to talk to her-and soon.

* * *

Taylor was sitting in her bedroom at the desk in front of her laptop as she wrote the English paper Abigail had told her about that was due next week while she listened to music on her iTouch.

Then her cell phone lit up and vibrated from its position on her desk.

"Hi, Tia," Taylor said into the phone when she answered the call, reading the caller I.D.

"Hey, girl, how was New York? Run into any Gossip Girl stars out and about?"

Taylor could almost see Tia's face turning into a smile as she asked her.

"No, I didn't. I was a little too busy dancing to go scouting for celebrities. Besides, I think they had already finishing filming the show by the time I arrived there."

"Damn. What about Chace Crawford? I heard he's in a new movie and they're shooting it in New York."

Taylor refrained from cracking a laugh at her friend's expense. Gossip girl was one of the only shows Tia could stand to watch anymore besides Grey's Anatomy so she was kind of obsessed when it came to style stalking the stars of the show.

"Yeah, I didn't see anything, Tee. Sorry," she said. "But what's up?"

"That's a shame, but anyway, I assure you, there is a reason as to why I call you on a Saturday afternoon when I could have just walked next door to you..."

Taylor could barely make out Tia's voice as she tried to listen to music, write a paper and talk on the phone all at one time. Therefore, she turned down the music as she focused on her friend.

"So we're going to a bonfire down on the beach tonight and I thought you might like to come too so that you can see everyone before school on Monday."

Taylor had an inkling suspicion of who _we_ were. She figured she meant everyone she hung out with which meant that there was a good chance Conner would be there too. And if so, then he'd probably bring his girlfriend with him too. Taylor guessed that she had started to hang out with his friends as well since she began going out with him.

"I don't know." Taylor weighed in on her options, chewing on whether or not she should go to the bonfire and risk seeing her ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend together. It was bad enough that she had been a witness to it at House of Java. She really didn't want to have to go somewhere, knowing they'd be there all along. It wasn't her style to make small talk with an ex and his girlfriend. That just wasn't how she rolled.

"C'mon...it'll be fun," Tia attempted to persuade.

Taylor tried to toy with the idea but as hard as she had tried, she couldn't get the image of Conner and Alanna out of her head. She didn't want to see them together. It was going to be bad enough to have to see him in school-when it was just him-she couldn't begin to see what it'd do to her state of mind if she saw them together.

"If you're worried about seeing Conner with Alanna then I wouldn't panic because he might not be coming anyway."

There it went-AGAIN! And just when she had come to grow sick of thinking about those two names together, she had heard them in the flesh through conversation from her friend. He might not even be there. _Might_, as in there was a chance he would be there and she couldn't take that chance if he was. Not right now anyway. She knew there'd be a time when she would need to talk to him but if there was any chance of her putting it off for as long as she could then she would take that chance rather than risk it. It was better than having an awkward conversation with your ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend. She had seen _One Tree Hill_ last season and for the record, she was team Peyton all the way. There was no denying who she had been rooting for in the end.

"Tee, it's nice of you to think of me when Conner and I are not together anymore but I really can't come. Although, I'd love to catch up with you, I also have an English paper to write and according to my parents, that has to come first. Sorry."

So she had lied to one of her nearest and dearest friends but she didn't know what else she could do or say. There was no way she'd put herself out there and purposely go out of her way to see Conner and Alanna together.

"It is cool. School comes first, especially when you've missed three weeks. Actually, I've got a history paper due that I should be staying home to finish but what you going to do." Taylor heard Tia stall for a moment and she could have sworn she had heard a male's voice in the background but didn't think anything of it. She figured it was probably Trent or Andy. She had heard from Jessica through a text message while she was in New York that Tia had started dating Trent. That they were keeping it low key but that they were still a couple.

She wouldn't let something overrated get to her. It was probably nothing anyway.

After Taylor and Tia said their goodbyes, Taylor placed her phone down on her desk and stared at the computer screen in front of her, contemplating what to write next. It wasn't that she wasn't good at English because she was but she just didn't have the energy to find the words to spur an essay. And if she did then she was afraid it wouldn't be up to the high standard she usually put into her assignments. She drummed her fingers against the keyboard.

"So the rumour is true. My favourite cousin is finally home." Taylor looked over to the door and saw Melissa standing there with a smile on her face.

"Liss!" Taylor jumped up from the chair, pushing it back and bounced as best as she could with a cast on her leg toward her cousin, embracing her with a hug.

"How was New York?" she asked as the two girls hugged. Melissa pulled back and looked down. "On second thought, don't tell me. I think I can make it out myself. You broke your leg. Did you missed me that much? You had to break your leg?"

"Fractured actually," Taylor pointed out. "There is a difference. And it's not my whole leg, just my ankle."

With the help of Melissa, Taylor hopped to her bed and sat down while Melissa took a seat at the chair Taylor had previously been sitting on.

"So how'd you manage to _'fracture'_," Melissa air quoted, "your ankle?"

Taylor shrugged her shoulders. "During a dance rehearsal, I hurt it by moving it in a way I shouldn't have, refused to seek treatment in which I continued to dance knowing my ankle was limited to movement and then in the midst of a class, the pain suddenly became too overwhelming that I could no longer stand up let alone dance and I collapsed. In other words, as the doctor told me, it's a simple injury made into a bigger problem brought on by me who refused to seek medical aid when I hurt it in the beginning."

"Taylor-"

Taylor raised her hands in surrender. "I know. Please, I don't need another lecture explaining how I did the wrong thing. I got it from the doctor and the dance instructors and then again from my parents an hour ago. I don't need it from you too. Believe me, I've learnt my lesson, but at the time, I honestly thought I'd be okay. That the pain would go away on its own and that I just needed to rest it with an ice pack."

Melissa stared at me, her brown eyes watching me carefully. "Obviously you didn't rest it enough."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, so why exactly are you here?" Taylor asked her, changing the subject. She didn't need to be told by everyone that she was stupid to continue dancing on her leg after hurting it the first time.

Melissa rolled her eyes, stared at the computer screen then back at Taylor, resting her hands in her lap. "I'm here because we're going to a bonfire tonight."

"We?" Taylor asked. Hadn't she just gone through this with Tia? Who were we?

"Yes, we, as in you and I," said Melissa. "And Will. He's waiting out in the car."

"Look, Tia already called and invited me to the bonfire. I said no to her and I'm going to say no to you too."

"You did? Why?"

"I'm tired. I don't feel like sitting around another famous bon fire on the beach to bitch about people I don't like. I really just want to have a quite night at home with my family. Besides, since when do you and Tia talk to each other?"

"Really? Yeah, I'm sure you do. And I'm sure there's somebody you'd like to bitch about." She examined her finger nails carefully. "I wouldn't go so far to say Tia and I are friends but I guess we both have something in common-you. So we've learned to tolerate each other for your sake. We won't be the only two there. Most of the senior class were invited and probably some of the junior class who talk to the seniors. There will be plenty of people for you to talk to."

So Melissa was right. Taylor had been given an extension-but by one week. It still didn't give her a lot of time to write a 1500 word essay on the effects of Loss though she had plenty to say on the topic given she had experienced loss in her life.

"I-" Taylor tried to say.

Melissa stood up, pursing her lips together. "_I can't_." She mocked her cousin, knowing the words that were going to come from her mouth. "Yes you can. That's not the Taylor I know. The Taylor I know never says I can't. I don't think the word is even a part of her vocabulary much does she know the definition of the word because if I can recall, she defied all the doctors who told her she'd never walk again because she was determined to walk rather than face life as a paraplegic. Now, unless I'm thinking of another Taylor who looks like you, I could have sworn that that was all you."

"I get it. I don't say I can't, but this time is different. I haven't lost movement in my legs. I just don't want to see my ex boyfriend and his girlfriend together at this present time. I'm sure you'd feel the same if you knew Will was dating some other girl."

Taylor figured she'd be strong enough to get past the initial shock of seeing Conner with someone else and having her heart break all over again. After all, she had been through much worst than a meaningless break up so she knew that she had the courage to pull herself through and survive a broken heart but she also knew that the less she saw of Conner and Alanna together, the better she'd be in the long run at getting over him.

Melissa stormed to Taylor's walk in closet, pulling out her sandals then crossed the room back to Taylor.

"I am not taking no for an answer." Melissa tossed her shoes at her cousin. "You're coming with us."

Taylor gave up arguing with Melissa. She knew it wouldn't get her anywhere. Instead, she slipped her shoes onto her feet and rose to her feet with the help of her crutches. Melissa did a quick once over in Taylor's full length mirror as she passed it on her way out of her room.

"So earlier you said Will was waiting in his car. Did you guys get back together?"

"Yes."

Taylor couldn't figure it out. She had only been away for three weeks and those three weeks felt like a life time. A lot had happened and a lot had changed in three weeks. She hadn't expected to come home to change. Sure, she had expected that not everything would be the same as it was when she left but she did not expect the_ people_ she knew the most in town to change as well.

And all that Taylor could say was, "I wasn't gone that long. What else happened while I was away?"


	4. You Belong With Me

**_If you could see that I'm the one who understands you__  
Been here all along so why can't you see,  
You belong with me  
You belong with me_**

Taylor Swift, "You Belong With Me"

* * *

**Chapter Three**

An hour after Taylor had arrived to the beach with Melissa and Will, she had finished catching up with friends who wanted to know how New York was and in particular how she fractured her ankle. Then when she had grown tired of being surrounded by couples as she sat all alone in front of a bonfire, she rose to her feet in search for some space away from couple land and grabbed her friend's guitar to take with her.

When she had safely found a spot a few metres away from everyone else but still close enough to see them, she sat down, stretching her legs out in front of her, resting the guitar in her lap as she pulled the hood of her jacket over her head. And as she placed her fingers over the strings in formation of a chord, she briefly turned away from the guitar, looking back at the crowd sitting around the bonfire. She saw Tia sitting in Trent's lap as she talked about something with Jessica and Jeremy. Then there was Maria and Ken, Melissa and Will, Josh and Lila and even Andy and Elizabeth—even if they weren't a couple—and of course Conner and Alanna.

Her eyes flicked over them simultaneously. She couldn't help it. It was as if there was an urge in her to know where they were and what they were doing. Though as quickly as she could, she let her eyes fall back to the guitar so that she wasn't watching them every time Conner looked her way. Unbeknown to Taylor, Conner was stealing quick glances in Taylor's direction and everyone close to the two of them were witnesses—everyone except for Alanna.

Taylor strummed her fingers along the guitar, playing a familiar tune to her. And as she played those first few chords, she felt it in her to sing.

_I didn't know what I would find__  
When I went looking for a reason, I know  
I didn't read between the lines  
And, baby, I've got nowhere to go  
I tried to take the road less travelled by  
But nothing seems to work the first few times  
Am I right_

_So how can I ever try to be better__  
Nobody ever lets me in  
I can still see you, this ain't the best view  
On the outside looking in  
I've been a lot of lonely places  
I've never been on the outside_

She paused to take a breath, looking out at the ocean as she breathed in the ocean air. While she sat by herself and stared back at her friends, she realised that she had never really known what it was like to be on the outside—until now. Sure, her friends hadn't purposely made her feel as if she was standing on the outside looking in at them but to her, she felt like she didn't belong with them. Not anymore anyway. Now that she was single, she had no ties to the people in front of her. She was all alone while Alanna had taken her spot.

Taylor played another note, trying to forget all that was on her mind. She didn't care to think about any of it anymore.

_You saw me there, but never knew__  
That I would give it all up to be  
A part of this, a part of you  
And now it's all too late so you see  
You could've helped if you had wanted to  
But no one notices until it's too  
Late to do anything_

_How can I ever try to be better  
Nobody ever lets me in  
I can still see you, this ain't the best view  
On the outside looking in  
I've been a lot of lonely places  
I've never been on the outside_

Taylor ended the song, choosing to sit in complete silence as she tried to forget about the conversations she could hear her friends having.

"I wondered where you got to."

Taylor looked behind her, startled to see Will standing there.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Oh, Will, hi," she muttered. She didn't know what else she could say to him. She didn't know why he had come over to her. Okay, so he went out with Melissa and she had talked to him on occasions when she needed to but neither of them ever really went out of their way to talk to the other. It just didn't happen. And all she could think about was that she hoped he hadn't heard her sing. She didn't need people to know she could sing.

"Can I sit down?" he asked her, pushing his wind blown hair away from his face.

Taylor nodded her head, shifting her crutches to the other side of her.

Will sat down beside her, bending his legs as he rested his arms on his knees.

"You play the guitar?"

Taylor looked down at the guitar. "Uh…no not really," she lied. "I just always wanted to see what it's like to hold a guitar."

So she had lied but he'd never know she had lied to him. Taylor didn't know but she never wanted people to know that she could sing—or had an actual singing voice.

"Damn, I was going to ask you to play me something," he replied.

A small laugh escaped Taylor. Will then turned to gape at her. "Not even one little song?"

Taylor shook her head. "I don't think so. Trust me; you don't want to hear me sing." And this time she was telling the truth. He didn't need to hear her sing. It wasn't that she was bad at it. She was actually quite good at it or so she had been told by an elderly lady who had heard her one night on the beach. She knew that once he heard her sing a couple of notes, it wouldn't be the last of it. She'd never be able to live it down because everyone would want to hear her sing and that was something she didn't want or need.

"Did Melissa ask you to come over here and check up on me?"

Will bared a sheepish grin and at that instant, Taylor knew she was right.

Taylor sighed heavily. Why couldn't she sit alone without having her friends think she needed help? Was she supposed to have some kind of problem?

"Yeah, actually," he began, running a hand through his blonde hair. "But I suggested I come instead. That maybe you wouldn't want to tell her how you really are. She just wants to make sure you're okay seeing Conner again."

_Oh, she did. Well, that's nice of you, but as you can, I am completely fine with it—seeing Conner and Alanna, that is._

She would have said it rather than think it if she had had the guts to say what she was really thinking but she also didn't want to come off as being rude. So much for having nothing and no one stand in her way. The only person standing in her way was her.

"So are you? Okay, I mean," Will said when he got no reply from Taylor.

She must have looked like an idiot. Here she was, talking to her cousin's boyfriend who was asking if she was okay and she couldn't even say anything back. Instead, she sat there stunned with her mouth hanging open. She wondered how long she had been sitting there with her mouth open, hoping she hadn't made a fool out of herself and drooled. Will hadn't given her any strange looks she guessed he either had not noticed or she hadn't embarrassed herself.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Taylor said, recollecting her thoughts. "It's just going to take some time seeing my ex with someone else. By the way, I give you permission to tell Melissa those exact words."

She knew that it would make Melissa happy to know she was okay.

"And just so you know, I'm happy that you and Liss managed to work out your problems and got back together. Believe it or not, you two are good together because you make sense."

Will grinned, showing the same smile he always showed. "I think so too. It means a lot to know you support the two of us being together." His voice was deep and low.

And as Will reached out, gently brushing Taylor's shoulder, she shuddered at his touch. His hand was rough and warm, probably from the unusually warm fall air and bonfire. No guy had come close to touching her since Conner so she felt strange having it come from Will—someone she wasn't romantically linked to. And she had no intention to embark on a relationship with him either.

But it meant a lot to her, knowing she had found an unlikely friend in Will. She never expected to call him her friend—even if he was with Melissa.

"Hi, can we talk?" Conner asked. His voice gruff like it was almost a whisper.

Taylor and Will both turned their heads, both just as surprised to find Conner standing there. Taylor wasn't expecting him to have the talk she had been dreading to have with him. Or maybe she had known she'd need to say something to him. Only the talk she had imagined in her head wasn't at all like the one she had wanted to have right now. She didn't want to have the post break up talk, the one where he told her of his new girlfriend and explained how they met. She knew how he had met Alanna. She didn't need to hear it from him, or maybe she did just so they could clear the air. But one thing was for certain, she knew that the conversation they'd share together would never go down the way she had pictured it in her mind.

Will turned back to Taylor, giving her a serious look that read are you sure you want me to go? Taylor nodded her head, allowing him to go back to Melissa but Taylor was relieved to have been given the option of letting Will handle the situation with Conner.

Before Will rose to his feet, he leaned in toward Taylor, whispering, "I'm always here if you need me."

"Thanks," she whispered back with a simple smile to say thank you. Who knew she'd find solid gratitude in Will?

When Will rose to his feet, he walked past Conner and gave him a half smile as if to say, 'she's all yours.'

As soon as they were left alone, Conner sat down, sinking himself into the sand beside Taylor, with space between him and his ex girlfriend.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," Taylor responded softly while staring out at the ocean. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to him. Was she supposed to show how happy she was to know he had another girlfriend because she wasn't sure she could do that? She just didn't have it in her to show the side she was sure he expected to see from her.

"How are you?" she asked him, curiosity getting the better of her. "You look good."

Rehab had definitely done something for him. It looked as if it had worked wonders to his life. He was no longer the picturesque of bleariness. His bloodshot eyes were gone, only to be replaced with his back to normal green eyes she had tried to forget but wasn't having trouble getting out of her head.

Conner rubbed his hands together. "Yeah, I feel fine," he said, raking a hand over his head. "Rehab was a really big help to me. You were all right to assume I needed help. But I…I was in a bad place at the time when you were telling me I had a problem and I just didn't want to believe any of the stuff you and everyone else were telling me. I didn't want to listen to it. I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way. I'd never go out of my way to hurt you. I hope you know that."

Conner looked at Taylor with sincerity and Taylor saw in his eyes that he had meant every word he said to her. She knew that despite all that had happened and was happening, he was telling her the truth. She did believe that he wouldn't go out of his way to hurt her.

"How are you?" he asked, their eyes meeting as they both shared a look neither of them had expected to share since their break up.

Taylor nodded, her eyes quickly flicking out to sea in an attempt to keep her distance from him. She had expected their first conversation to go down as it was but she hadn't anticipated the eye glances between them, especially when he had a girlfriend and it wasn't her.

"Yeah, I'm good." She gulped. Why couldn't she just look at him like a normal person? He wasn't anybody special—but that wasn't true. He was Conner. Her Conner, as in her ex boyfriend—the guy she still had feelings for and she had tried to forget about them but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't just ignore what she still felt for him, even if he did have another girlfriend. It was too damn hard.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and couldn't help but look back at the crowd surfacing around the bonfire, her eyes stopping on Alanna as she sat there with Tia and everybody else who she was friends with. They were her friends. She should be there talking to them. She had known them longer, especially Tia. Tia was the one whom she had gone to after she broken up with Josh. How Tia had been there for her after her father had lost his job due to his company going under and she thought she'd be unable to attend the homecoming dance because she didn't have the money to buy a dress. Instead, she had given the money her father had given her to buy a dress and gave it back to him to help out the family.

It had been the first time she had lied to her dad, but at the time, she figured her family was more important than some stupid homecoming dress. And when she discovered that Tia had gone and told Conner and her friends that she wouldn't be going, Jessica had stepped in and loaned her a stunning dress she had made, saying that she'd be the best dressed because she was wearing an original design of Jessica Wakefield Designs. And as it had turned out, she had had a great time at the dance. She had been fortunate enough to love her dress, enjoy the night with her friends and even share a dance with her boyfriend—unbeknown that it would be one of the last times she and Conner actually managed to enjoy themselves as a couple.

Tia and Taylor had been through a lot together and now all of a sudden she was friends with Tia. She didn't like that.

"So you and Alanna? You guys seem happy together."

Conner swallowed, knowing he wasn't eating anything but it felt as though he was mulling over the right words to say. How did you explain your new relationship to your ex girlfriend?

"Yeah, we are," he said.

Taylor nodded her head. "Then I am happy for you." And she was. She meant it. If he was really happy with Alanna then she was happy for him, even if it killed her to know he was being happy with someone else. That was the part that sucked.

"I'm really sorry that you had to find out about us like this. I'm not sure how I wanted you to know but it wasn't like this." He ran a hand through his hair and Taylor noticed that it wasn't as short as it once was. He had changed. He wasn't the same person he used to be. He had come home from rehab as a changed person. Of course, she knew he would change given the treatment he went through to get help but she hadn't accounted for him to change as much as he did. It was all too much for her to process. She just wanted the old Conner back, not the Conner who drank too much but the Conner who loved her almost as much as she loved him. Was that too much to ask for?

"No, it's fine. I don't think there was any easy way to go about it because it was always going to be hard either way you look at it. Believe it or not, I am fine."

And that was a lie. She had just told him a whopping big lie when during the whole homecoming fiasco, she had promised—they had promised each other that they'd always tell the truth, that they'd never lie to each other. Where did their promise go? Had it all of a sudden washed away because so too did their relationship?

She wasn't sure if she'd ever be okay with seeing him with someone else but she also wasn't about to break down in front him and admit her true feelings for him—that she still loved him. Taylor would be putting her heart on the line for heartbreak and she had already had her fair share of heartbreak. She didn't need anymore. So she decided to keep her feelings to herself, allowing her heart to be put at ease. Maybe she needed something else to do to make her stop pining after her ex boyfriend.

Conner looked at her in a way that always made her feel as though he knew what she was thinking. Damn these absurd feelings right now.

"Are you sure?" his hand gently brushing her face as he pushed away a falling strand of hair that had blown in the cool fall air.

"Nice hair, by the way." His hand felt rough against her smooth skin and when he touched her, it brought back old memories of when he'd kiss and touch her as his girlfriend. But this time was different. She wasn't his girlfriend. Alanna was and she was still present. She was more that present given that she was only a few feet away from them. She couldn't risk doing something stupid in front of her. Taylor wondered if Alanna knew who she was. She wondered if she knew that she was the ex girlfriend because she knew who she was.

Taylor was well aware of what it was like to be cheated on. Taylor vowed never to be the one to do it. She had made a promised to herself and if she went back on her word, she'd be labelled or labelling herself a hypocrite. She had to respect that he had a girlfriend no matter how strong her feelings for him were. But curse him for sitting so close to her and brushing his hand against her. he could still make her feel warm and tingly inside and she liked the idea of it. She always did. But he had complimented her hair colour? Did that mean he liked it? That he preferred her as a brunette rather than a blonde?

"I'm sure and thanks. I guess I was feeling spontaneous to do something drastic and life changing and well, I had always wondered how a brunette lived their life so I became a brunette. Does that mean you like the change?" she asked.

_And I wasn't sure what I was coming home to…whether I'd be returning to you._

She was pretty sure that he'd pick up on her vibe anyway. He could always tell when something was wrong. It was just a pity she hadn't been able to sense he had a drinking problem before he spiralled out of control. Maybe she would have been able to help him more than she did. Maybe she could have talked him into sense and gotten him to stop drinking then he wouldn't have gone to rehab and met Alanna. Maybe she and Conner would still be together. They'd be the ones hanging out together.

"I'm no hair expert but yeah, it's nice. You look good as a blonde and a brunette. Just don't go changing too much on us. I still like the old Taylor."

Taylor hadn't expected Conner to use the word but there it was. He had actually said. He liked her—and he liked her the way she was. Okay, so he hadn't exactly said he _liked_ her but he had still used that word and she'd take it to heart. She always took everything he said to her into consideration and he knew that—at least he used to. This time was going to be no different.

"I guess I should be getting back to the others," Conner said. "You coming?"

Taylor shook her head. She wasn't ready to head back to her friends yet. "No, I think I'm just going to stay here a while longer."

Conner made no attempt to stand up and leave. "But you can go. I'll be fine on my own."

"Maybe I want to stay a little bit longer too."

And for a brief second, their eyes met again, feeling the same sensation in her as she had once felt a few months ago.

So without muttering a word to each other, the two of them sat there in the sand as they stared out at the ocean, wondering nothing at all and deciding to take it one step at a time. This conversation wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Who ever said that the first conversation was the hardest?

* * *

Meanwhile, as Alanna sat around the bonfire, listening to everyone else talk, her eyes flickered to the right; catching a glimpse of Conner sitting with some girl she didn't know. She wondered where he had gotten to and now she knew. But who was the girl he was with? She didn't understand why he'd be sitting alone with her? And what were they even talking about to last so long? Why hadn't she noticed him sooner?

Alanna looked around and noticed Andy plop himself down in a nearby chair.

He looked her way and frowned. "What's up, Alanna? Why the long face?"

"Who is _she_?" she asked.

Andy gazed in the direction Alanna was looking, not needing to ask who she was talking about when the visual image in front of him was a good enough answer. It was a picture as clear as day. Anyone could see it. There was no painting needed. He knew what he was talking about.

Alanna looked back at him, waiting for a response.

"That's Taylor."

"Taylor?" she asked. She needed more to go on. Although she now knew her name, who the hell was Taylor?

"Conner's ex girlfriend," Andy said in no uncertain words.

His ex girlfriend? Alanna hadn't even been aware he had an ex girlfriend. Why hadn't she been informed earlier? She was his girlfriend or so she thought she was.

"Oh, right," she mumbled.

"Yeah, they broke up before Conner went to rehab. She was his first real relationship so we all kind of thought they'd get back together when he returned from rehab."

She looked stunned. Had all his friends wanted them back together? Was she not liked amongst them? Was she not supposed to be his girlfriend? It sure sounded that way.

"No offence or anything. We just assumed they'd have some unfinished business but he's with you now so I guess not."

"Oh, no offence taken," she muttered. "Believe me, it takes a whole lot more to offend me," she murmured under her breath so that no one could hear it.

Alanna let out a loud sigh, curling herself deeper into the chair as she swiped at a curl that had fallen loose from her ponytail. "Why does his ex girlfriend have to be so damn pretty?"

"Yeah, I don't know. I don't have an answer to that question," Andy spoke, surprising Alanna. No one was supposed to hear her, let alone answer her. She had merely said it to get it out there because it had been on the tip of her tongue. Had anybody really not been thinking it? You'd have to be blind to not notice how gorgeous Taylor was. This girl ubered the typical stereotype of what a Southern Californian teenager was supposed looked like, despite the fact that her hair was brown of what she could see underneath the hooded jacket she wore. Alanna even bet the girl was a natural blonde at heart with blue eyes.

So what was Conner doing with her? If he had previously dated Miss California then why was he settling with her? It wasn't as though she screamed typical southern Californian. She was far from being typical or normal. Was she right? Was he _settling_ with her when deep down, he desired Taylor? Did his true feelings tell a different story? Did he belong with the ex?

Alanna snapped out of her cynical thoughts, just early enough to hear Andy ramble on. She cursed the moment she ever allowed her head to think for her. There was so much she didn't want to have to think about. How long had Andy been talking to her?

It's like if you were to as why the sky is blue. No one has an answer, though I guess she is pretty not that I notice all that much."

Alanna simple smiled in return. She was thankful to have him try to cheer her up because she knew she couldn't stoop to the level she would have previously gone to in recent months when something was bothering her. So much for her boyfriend—she had come here with Conner and he wasn't even with her. He'd rather be with his ex girlfriend than with her.

Rehab had apparently taught her a lesson or two. But how long would it last?

* * *

Andy sat and grinned, barely tolerating his friend's choice of girlfriends because he couldn't very well say he hated Alanna. For Conner's sake, they'd know he liked her. But as he pulled at the mop of curls sitting on top of his head, he skimmed his eyes over two figures hunched over in the sand as they laughed together, knowing someday they would be together again. It was simple. His friends could all see it and he had a feeling that Alanna could see it too. Those two people didn't fit in apart. They belonged together. Damn, here he was discussing his friends relationship. He made a mental note to get out more.


	5. Getting Over You

**___I'm getting over you, whoa__  
I'm getting over you, most of the time  
If I say it like I mean it  
Then maybe I'll believe it  
Like it's true  
I'm getting over you_**

The Click Five, "I'm Getting Over You"

* * *

**Chapter Four**

With the ear buds connected to her iPhone firmly attached to her ears, Taylor bopped to the music she was listening to as she stared at the computer screen in front of her, scrolling through the different bandsshewas searching anddiscovering who'd be willing to play at the riot. Lost in her music,she didn't hear her name being called until she felt her phonevibrate, interrupting the song she was listening to. She brieflylooked up from the computer and pressed the answer key, holding thephone to her ear to say hello.

"Turn around," said a male voice whom Taylor had heard before.

"Angel?" Taylor asked, instantly knowing the voice that spoke to had been around Angel long enough to know whose voice it was.

"Where are you?"

"It's like I said, turn around."

And at his command, she turned around even when she didn't know whyshe was turning around and saw Angel standing there with that samedorky grin on his face that he used to give when he was dating Tia. Taylor returned a wide smile, happy to see a familiar face come homethough she also wondered what be was doing here. Shouldn't he be atStamford? Did they allow breaks? She had wanted to get up and hug himbut she knew that she wasn't as easily supported on one foot. Insteadshe opted to swing herself around in the chair, giving him a glimpseof her cast to explain why she couldn't get up to greet him.

Instead, he came to her, resting his arms around her as he picked her up,heaving her into his arms. Taylor laughed hysterically.

"Put me down." Her legs were swinging. "When I showed you my cast, I didn'tmean I wanted you to pick me up."

"Oh, really? I thought you did that as a clue that you wanted me tolunge you into my arms." That same goofy smile still appeared on hisface as he did as she asked and put her down on the chair. "So whathappened to you anyway?"

Taylor stared at him. "You mean you didn't hear?"

Angel shook his head. "No. In case you haven't noticed, I'm at acollege in another town. I don't get to hear a lot of the gossip thatgoes on here. I'm a little busy."

"Oh, yes. Speaking of college, why are you here and not there?"

Angel shrugged his shoulders, not giving anything away. "It's a longstory which speaking of, what's with the cast?"

"Oh, well mine is a long story too. Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime but all you need to know is that I hurt it when I was in New Yorkfor an elite dance program I was accepted into. I only just got back aweek ago."

"And I bet Conner is happy to have you home." And with his comment, Taylor looked down to the floor. She thoughtthat even with Angel away at college, he would have been told about herbreak up and the fact that he went to rehab. She just assumed that Andy had told him.

"Actually, Conner and I broke up before he went to rehab."

She hoped she didn't need to go into more detail. She didn't need to start thinking about him again, not when she was just holding on, trying to forget her feelings for him.

Angel ran a hand over his head. "Yeah, I heard that he went to rehab. I'm sorry."

Taylor shrugged her shoulders aimlessly. "It's okay. Life happens. I can't sit around, compelling what my life has become even if I wanted to. Anyway, what are you doing here? You still haven't told me why you're here and not at Stamford."

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I asked you first."

"Too soon to tell. I'll let you know if Rick gives me my old job back."

"I work here. But more to the point, you want your old job back? Why would you want to do that when you have Stamford?"

"Why would you want to work here?"

Taylor scrunched up her face. ""Please. Are we just going to go back and forth asking questions? This isn't getting either one of us anywhere." She clasped her hands together over the top of her laptop. "Let's be serious. Why are you really here?"

"I really don't have an answer to that. I don't have an answer to anything anymore but being here sounded better in theory than at a school I'm not sure I want to go to anymore."

"Wow, I bet your parents took that well, upon seeing you arrive home from school."

"Yeah, that's one of the reasons why I am here to get my old job back which leads me back to my question. Why are you here?"

"Rick hired me."

"You work here? Since when? I didn't think Rick hired high schoolers."

"Yeah, well it wasn't so much as him hiring me as it was me badgering him until he backed down and offered me the job of Music director."

"The Riot has a music director?" Angel asked.

"They do now. I made it up."

"What does that entail?"

"Discovering music acts that are willing to play to a bunch of under 21ers or over 21ers for minimum wage since I'm rich but I'm not that rich...to be able to afford a costly band to play at the riot, which is why I mostly scout unknown talents on myspace looking to become noticed. I guess I was sick of having a DJ play records. I wanted some live music."

_And not to mention get my mind off of certain boys or ex boyfriends, _she thought to herself. She didn't feel the need to confess everything to Angel, not that he would want to know all about the misery she was building anyway.

"Right." Angel nodded his head, stuffing his hands into the front pocket of his dark blue jeans. "How's it working out for you so far?"

Taylor wavered her hand. "So," she said. "I've sent a dozen messages to bands who'd be interested in playing in exchange for a low fee but nothing so far. And that's not good considering I am on probation. My job isn't permanent yet."

Rick's voice was heard from his open office door. "Wish me luck," Angel said with a grin.

"You won't need luck," Taylor called after Angel as she covered her ears with the headphones, resuming the music featured on one of the websites she was looking at.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Angel emerged from the office.

"Did he re-hire you?" Taylor asked, swinging around in the chair to face him as he walked toward her.

Angel's smile said it all. "Well, put it this way. We'll both calling each other our new work colleague—on a probational period."

And as Taylor jumped up from her chair, still attached to her head phones and pulling them out from the laptop, Taylor ran into Angel's open arms.

If this was as best as a warm receiving he was going to get for being home again then he had a feeling he had done the right thing in taking an extended absence from school-until he worked out what exactly he wanted to do with the rest of his life. Who knows? With Taylor working almost beside him, maybe this would all work itself out in the end. Maybe this was what Taylor truly needed to get over an ex boyfriend once and for all.


	6. I Look So Good Without You

**_Hey boy, I would have thought that  
When you left me I'd be broken  
With my confidence gone, so gone_**

**_Hey boy, I would have thought that  
When you said that you don't want me  
I'd feel ugly and sense something was wrong_**

**_Standing in front of the mirror  
My skins never been clearer  
My smiles never been whiter_**

Jessie James, "I Look So Good Without You"

* * *

**Chapter Five**

After school on Wednesday, Taylor stood beside Annie and waited as she loaded books into her bag that she would need for the classes after lunch.

"So, there's no cheer practice today. Do you want to go to the mall with me after school? Grace and Chloe are coming too. Brittany has a "_study date"_ with Ben from Math class though I really don't know how much studying they'll be doing and if it will actually contribute to the grades they get in class because everybody in our Mathematics class know that they're not exactly A students. They're going to need all the help they can get but it really shouldn't be with each other. So what do you say?"

"About Brittany? Oh, I have no say on that subject because I'm not in your Mathematics class. Remember, I'm in the senior class."

Annie peered around the side of her locker door and stared at her friend. "I meant about going to the mall."

"Oh, that. Yeah, I can't go. I have to work."

"Since when do you have a job? I thought your parents gave you everything you wanted in exchange for decent grades at school."

"Well, jeez, when you put it like that, it sounds like I'm a spoilt rich girl."

Annie shrugged her shoulders. "Well, if the shoe fits."

"Yeah, well, I'm Daddy's girl but it's not out of choice. I'm an only daughter out of three brothers. You do the math. Of course I'm going to get everything I want which is why I'm working. I don't want to be known as another Lila Fowler just because Daddy will give me everything I've ever wanted and all I have to do is bat my eyelashes."

"So where you get a job at?"

"The Riot," Taylor answered simply.

"You got a job at the Riot? Doing what exactly? It's not as though you can serve alcohol. You're underage."

"Oh, I'm not a waitress. I'm a music director."

The look of Annie's face said it and Taylor tried to explain herself to her confused friend.

"I kind of made up the title and well, I guess I made up the job too but hey, on the bright side, Rick went for my spontaneous idea because he let me have the job although I was the only applicant."  
"Yeah, only you could make up a job description and then persuade someone to give you the job. So what do you _do_ as a '_music director'_?" Annie asked, making air quotes with her fingers as she put the last lot of books into her bag.

"Find bands/artists that'll be willing to play a live gig at the Riot for a reasonable fee."

"What kind of fee are we looking at here?"

"A free one," Taylor conceded. "Did I mention that Rick doesn't pay me yet?"

Annie shook her head, slamming her locker door shut. "No, I think you kept that piece of information to yourself."

"Yeah, well, Rick doesn't classify me an employee—not until I find a musician who will help to bring in more business to the Riot, which means money to the Riot and to me. At the very least, until I find an unsigned band to play at the Riot, I can work at home."

"So why do you choose to go to the Riot when you don't need to?" Annie asked as she swung her bag over her shoulder, the two girls heading down the hall toward the cafeteria.

"Because I want to," Taylor said, not wanting to give anything away. No one else needed to know of her true reason to go to the Riot when she wasn't needed. So she wanted to spend a little time catching up with Angel. It meant she didn't spend the rest of her time pining over an ex boyfriend who had already moved on to his next girlfriend. But she also knew that her friends wouldn't see it that way, not when Angel was her friend's ex boyfriend which meant that he was off limits. Still, there wasn't any harm in getting to know a close friend all over again. She just had to do it alone, that's all.

* * *

Flexing her fingers down onto the smooth white keys of the keyboard in front of her, she played a note followed by a single string of words that was the first line to a song she had written—or rather was trying to write because she was yet to finish it. She still didn't have a clue as to how she should go about ending the song though she knew it didn't matter that the song was only half done because she'd never have the confidence to sing it aloud to anyone anyway.

But she figured that she ought to finish it because if not for someone else than for herself. She started it and now she had to finish it.

_So the story goes on down a less traveled road.__  
__It's a variation on the one I was old,__  
__And although it's not the same, It's awful close__  
__In an ordinary__fairy__tale__land,_

Taylor let the words to part of the song she had written enthral her completely.

_There's a promise of a perfect happy end.__  
__And I imagine having just short of that,__  
__Is better than nothing_

_So you'll be my Forever and Almost Always,__  
__And I'll be fine, just love me when you can__  
__And I'll wait patiently, I'll wake up everyday__  
__Just hoping that, you still care_

As she took a brief pause as indicated by short break in between each verse, Taylor heard applause from someone standing behind her. Oh, crap! Who could have heard her? But as she turned her head around in that direction, she set her sight onto a pair of deep brown eyes and suddenly, his eyes was matched up with a body. Did she dare say his name? Angel.

"What was that?" he asked, rolling up the sleeves of his grey pull over.

"Uh…nothing." She stammered, trying to pull something out of thin air.

"It sure didn't sound like _nothing_ but something else entirely." As Angel made his way toward Taylor, she tried to hide the song she had been working on underneath a stack of CD's but he manoeuvred her grip and pulled it away from her. Then he looked down at the scrap of paper, his eyes reading each word carefully.

"You wrote this?" he asked.

"Well, yeah, but it's just a bunch of words that I put together. I wouldn't exactly call it anything."

"No but I will. This is really good. Have you got more?"

Taylor shook her head. "Nup, that's it. Why?"

"This is good. You should finish it and think about performing it here or something."

"Yeah, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"I haven't sung in front of anyone before. How do I know that I can sing?"

"I heard you. Trust me, you're an exceptional singer."

"And if I do, then what if I freeze up on stage? Everyone will laugh at me."

Angel placed his hands on either side of Taylor's shoulders. "Taylor, this stage fright is all in your head. I know I only heard part of the song you were singing but still, it was good. You were good—really good. And I think you should consider showing people what you're capable of doing."

Angel turned and started to walk away but stopped and gave Taylor something to think about. "Maybe you should include yourself as a singer at the concert you're putting together. Give everyone a little surprise."

Was Angel for real? Did he really just suggest that she should sing during the concert in which famous bands would be playing at? No matter how hard Angel insisted she consider doing it, Taylor had no plans to sing at the Riot during a night that her favourite band, _Boys like Girls_ said they'd perform because a no name like she was wasn't able to compete with that kind of talent.

* * *

As Annie, Grace and Chloe are walking along the sidewalk past the Riot, Annie can't help but peer in through the window, using her hands to shield away the excess light and as she squinted her eyes, she saw something very surprising.

"Annie?" Grace called after her.

Annie looked back at her friends. "Sorry. What?"

"You okay?" she asked her.

"Oh, um, yeah, I'm fine. I guess I just got distracted but I'm ready to hit House of Java with you," Annie replied and as she walked with her friends, she couldn't help but think back to the image of Taylor and Angel together. Okay, so they nothing happened between them. It wasn't as though Annie saw them kiss and it might be completely harmless but one way or another, Annie was going to get to the bottom of it because either way, Taylor spent all her free time there and now she knew why.

"Hi," Annie said the following morning when she saw Taylor walk in the doors of the school with her cousin. "Sorry but I have to steal Taylor away for a second. There's something I need to talk to her about."

And before Melissa could say anything, Annie pulled her friend away, steering her beside a bunch of vacant lockers, giving her one of her stern faces. "I don't think it's very wise of you to be spending so much of your time with him do you?"

Taylor was officially lost. What on earth was her friend on about?

"Angel—I'm talking about you and Angel," Annie said softly. "I saw the two of you together yesterday at the Riot. I know your dirty little secret, why you choose to spend so much of your time there when you could be hanging out with your friends."

Taylor's mouth opened ajar, lost for words. "I…it's not what it looks like, Annie. Angel and I are really just friends. Nothing more. I'd never do that to Tia because I know what it feels like to be betrayed by a friend."

Taylor was talking about the time she caught Tia and Conner kissing, back when she was still going out with Conner. Sure, both had explained how the kiss meant nothing to either of them and she was still friends with Tia but it had also taken Taylor time to get the bond she shared with Tia back. At the time of the incident, their friendship had been tainted and she wasn't sure if the damage could be repaired.

"Then what did I see?" Annie tapped her foot.

"Two _friends_ hanging out and enjoying each other's company," Taylor explained. It was the truth. "He's back in town on a break from school and he is working at the riot again until he finds out what he wants to do. He isn't sure he wants to return to school. He and Tia broke up and even though their break up had been a mutual agreement, he thinks it's weird to be her friend knowing she's got a new boyfriend. And I feel the same way. I don't want to hang out with Conner while his new girlfriend is there so Angel and I are having our own fun together. The thought of getting into another relationship so soon hasn't even crossed my mind, not when my feelings for my ex boyfriend haven't really gone away."

"And that's exactly how a rebound relationship is born—and why it's called a _rebound_," Annie pointed out. "Are you sure there isn't _anything_ between you and Angel?"

But the second Taylor opened her mouth; she instantly shut it without even mustering a single word as soon as Melissa stepped behind her, intervening with her own two cents. Taylor wasn't even aware Melissa was standing behind her to hear the conversation between Taylor and Annie.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with Annie," she stated which surprised both Taylor and Annie.

Melissa shrugged her shoulders, tossing her auburn hair over her shoulder then turned to face Taylor. "What? Tia and I might not always get along but that doesn't mean I'd let her friend go out with her ex boyfriend. I know how tight Tia and Angel were when they were a couple and knowing all of the history they shared together, going out with the ex boyfriend of your friend is strictly off limits. And after everything I went through at the beginning of the year, we should have learnt by experience."

But Taylor didn't want to hear a word of what her best friend and her cousin were telling her. None of it mattered and none of it concerned them because she wasn't about to commit to a relationship with Angel. She and Angel were just _friends_. Why couldn't they get that it was possible for a guy and a girl to be friends without being in love with each other. Sure, Angel was a boy and he was her friend. But he was just that, her _boy_ friend. She had had boy friends in the past but she never had boys who were just her friends before. Was that why her friends were so cynical to believe the friendship she and Angel had developed over the past week? It didn't matter what her friends thought. Taylor knew the truth. Her feelings for Angel were purely platonic and she was sure he felt the same way about her.

"Guys!" Taylor threw up her hands to make a dramatic statement. "Say what you like about my friendship with Angel. Think what you like but you're totally wrong. I'm going to say this slowly so you can understand me," she spoke softly. "Me and Angel are just friends, really we are. I don't like him _that _way."

And when Annie and Melissa both looked at each other, Taylor knew what was to come next. Someone was going to speak up only Taylor wasn't sure who it would be—Annie or Melissa? Surely, of all people, they'd know better than to fight the words emerging from Taylor's mouth.

But to Taylor's surprise, Annie opened her mouth, ready to say something although Taylor quickly shut her down.

"Nope, I don't care whatever it is the two of you are thinking together. So can we just drop it? Thank you."

And as Taylor pushed her cousin aside, making a quick exit down the hall toward homeroom, she raised a hand in the air and waved it at her friends. "Whatever," she said as she walked away. And it was as simple as that. She didn't need anyone telling her who she could and couldn't be friends with, especially when that was all she was doing—being friends. Taylor just wasn't looking to get into another relationship right now. As of this moment, she felt she was far better to weather her life alone than with a boyfriend. She didn't need a boyfriend. Taylor was good without the arm candy on her arm.


	7. Sabotage

**_It's sabotage now_**  
**_I keep prayin' she'll leave me alone (Leave me alone)_**  
**_But she keeps waitin' outside of my home_**

**_I've got an angel on the lest sayin' "Don't give in"_**  
**_But the devil on the right sayin' "Let her in"_**  
**_She won't stop kickin' down my door._**

Kristinia DeBarge, "Sabotage"

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Six**

"It's so good to be out of that storm. I think I'm actually glad that I have to work tonight." Angel ran a hand over his head. "It's really coming down out there."

Taylor looked up from the undersized couch she was currently confining herself to. "Yeah, my Mom already called told me to stay put here until the rain dies down. I guess she also doesn't want me going out in the rain. I might not be at home but I'm safe where I am and I'm one less body she has to worry about during a rain storm."

Angel shook his umbrella, sliding it down. "Yeah, no, I just can't believe that of all the rare times that it does rain, it's heavy and I'm caught in the middle of it."

Taylor sniggered at Angel's statement. He was right. It never really rained in Sweet Valley let alone Southern California. But when it did, the rain usually came down in bucket loads. Sweet Valley definitely lived up to the hype of a sun drenched town and the people that lived there were mostly blonde, tanned and beautiful whose days were probably spent hanging out at the beach.

"So how's the negotiating going? Are you winning?" Angel headed behind the bar and began unloading the dishwasher below the counter.

Taylor sighed profoundly while still looking at the computer screen in front of her, resting her elbows in her lap. "OK, I think." She chewed her bottom lip. "We're IMing each other right now and they're considering taking the gig. That's a good thing, right?" Taylor asked, wanting assurance from her friend.

Angel smiled his grin that Taylor had seen him smile many times in the three weeks since they had been hanging out. He stacked a handful of glasses together and set them down on the back bench. "I'd imagine so. Taylor, you're doing your bit to help out with the Haiti relief. You're doing a great thing by hosting a benefit concert and if these bands you're trying to recruit to play here don't want to do it then they simply don't have as much of a heart as you do."

Taylor showed a small smile. She needed to hear that. She hadn't realised she liked hearing Angel tell her she was doing well as much as she did right now. Or maybe it was simply because lately, Angel had been the only real guy in her life that wasn't her dad, her brothers or Will. And she was grateful to have him in her life—to be able to call him her friend.

"Thanks."

"No thanks required. I was basically speaking the truth. And these bands, they're mostly unknown and unsigned, right?" Taylor gave a nod in his direction. "Then they'd be stupid to pass up an opportunity of playing to a sold out club. And obviously they're not too keen to have people follow their music."

"You'd think so. But I hope you're right because it is for free. All the money we've gotten from the tickets we've sold, it's going to the relief fund. I don't have nearly enough money to pay the bands too. Besides, I have one band people do know that have said they might be able to fit playing at the Riot into their schedule."

"Who are they?"

"Boys like Girls. They're probably the first band I ever truly fell in love with. I have both their albums on my iPod."

"And they're thinking of playing? When did that happen?"

"I awoke to an e-mail from the band personally in my inbox this morning."

"They personally responded to you?"

Taylor widened her eyes in delight. "Yeah-huh, I was none more surprised than you. I wasn't expecting them to personally reply back to me. I practically squealed the house down and I had both my parents running into my room. They thought I was hurt. But I'm hoping that they will be able to come and play because just maybe the other unsigned bands I've e-mailed who haven't said yes yet will actually say yes.

"Or they could feel threatened by the fact that a band that does have fans all over the world is playing alongside them. Maybe they don't like knowing that people are only there to hear that other band," Angel pointed out, wiping a glass out.

Taylor narrowed her eyes. "Angel, you're supposed to be my friend." She crossed her arms over her red tank top.

"So you want me to lie and tell you that you're right."

"Yep and it's not a lie. It's the truth. They will play if they know that Boys like Girls are going to be there. Now you're breaking my concentration. I have work to do. I need this band named 'Unsighted Hero' to say yes."

"You mean you're IMing a band right now?"

But before Taylor even said anything, the lights in the riot went off, making everything go black and silence ensued them.

"Well, I was IMing them. Now, I'm just staring at a blank computer screen." She said to Angel even though right now, she was unable to see his face.

"Uh, Taylor, I'm not sure if you're aware of this but your computer is a laptop. It's run on battery."

"Why thank you for stating the obvious, Mr Obvious but FYI, my battery was flat. I was charging it up."

"Then in that case, I stand corrected. You may continue to stare at your blank screen."

Taylor mimicked him. "Doesn't the riot have some kind of generator to generate another source of power during these times?"

She really needed the power back on and working. She had to know whether or not 'Unsighted Hero' had the answer she was looking for.

"Yes we do not that it's used on a whole lot of occasions. I can't say I have been on duty when the electricity has gone out." Taylor heard noise come from where she had last seen him standing. Then a round light fell over her. Angel had a torch. "I'll be back," he said. "You'll be OK alone for a couple of minutes, right?"

Taylor hugged herself. "Oh, sure, I'm just peachy. I mean, if someone tries to break into a club with no lights, I'll hit them over the head even though I have no idea where the door is right now."

"That's a girl. I knew you'd be fine." Taylor could just imagine his thick smile he'd be wearing on his face.

"Angel!" Now wasn't the time to make fun of her. She wasn't in the mood.

"Oh, fine, then. Come with me. You can hold the flash light for me."

Taylor placed her laptop on the opposing seat and stood on her feet, following the trail the flash light made on the floor so that she didn't bump into anything. She snatched the light from Angel's hands and scowled. "You sure know how to win a girl's heart."

"Well, my name isn't Angel for nothing."

* * *

Five or so minutes later, Angel and Taylor returned to the first floor of the Riot.

"Didn't I tell you I'd get the lights working again?" Angel commented.

"No, you said you'd get the power working again. You only turned the lights back on."

"So it's a good thing the club will be closed tonight."

"Yeah, but that doesn't help me," Taylor mumbled

"So write a song," Angel responded. Taylor hadn't meant for him to hear her last remark and she hadn't wanted him to bring up the topic of writing a song ever again. It was a mistake when Angel had eavesdropped on her trying to play a song she had written on the piano three weeks ago. She hadn't played since even though she had finished writing the song. Taylor just didn't want her family and friends knowing of her musical talent.

"Yeah, I don't think so," she lied. "I didn't finish the song for a reason."

"So finish the song." Angel had his back to her as he reached up and put the latch on the door, locking the door.

"Uh-uh." Taylor shook her head, running a hand through her mess of brown hair as she hobbled to a chair at the front of the bar and sat down, raising her injured ankle slightly so that it was resting on the stool beside her. It needed rest. It was starting to hurt. And according to the doctor, that wasn't a good thing and was a sign of when she needed to sit down and relax. But how could she relax when she was stuck inside the riot until the rain died down a little bit, not knowing if she needed to look for another band. She had so much depending on this concert next week. Her whole job as a music person at the Riot was at risk if this concert didn't go to plan.

It was the only constant thing she had to hold on to and that had kept her sane while she rode out knowing her ex boyfriend had moved on without her. She just wasn't sure she could lose it. If she did, she'd miss her friendship with Angel. Over the past three weeks, she had spent more time with Angel than she had before he went to college. If she lost this job then she was afraid she'd lose his friendship too. Taylor had found herself telling him things she had never told anybody else before.

And she had found him listening without judgement. She had even opened up about her musical ability although that one had been a mistake she hadn't meant for him to find out about. Still, she couldn't afford to make the concert turn sour. Tickets had already been bought—mostly by her friends but it was still money the Riot would be losing if she couldn't find bands to play here.

"I put the song where it belonged—in the bin." There was another lie. Boy, she was beginning to sound like Pinocchio and she knew that movie all too well. As well as Cars, Pinocchio was a movie played many times in the Morris household.

Angel retreated back behind the bar, cracking his knuckles. "Nonsense, that song I heard you sing wasn't rubbish. It was really good. Maybe you should consider performing next week. Everyone would really be surprised if they saw you singing on stage. You want a drink?"

"Sprite, please and no, I am going to consider singing on stage because I am not singing to anyone and that's final. You weren't even supposed to hear me sing."

"Why not?" Angel pulled a glass from the side, placing the glass underneath the correct soda outlet and turned the Sprite nozzle on, filling the glass with Sprite. "I only heard you sing briefly but you're a great singer."

"That's just dandy. I'm glad you think that but I wasn't aware I was asking for your opinion. When I am, I will ask for it."

Taylor scrunched up her face at him, showing her disapproval just as he set her glass of soda down in front of her.

"On the house?" she asked him.

Angel grabbed the dish rag and began wiping the counter down. "Hm, let's see. I was thinking of having it cost you like any normal paying customer but I'll give it to you for free—provided that we make an agreement." He cracked his friendly smirk.

"What kind of deal?"

"You mean you're going to consider taking our deal?"

"Maybe, maybe not," was all Taylor could articulate.

"Okay," Angel said, rolling up the sleeves of his dark blue shirt. "If you promise me that you will at least _think_ about singing next week then I won't make you pay for the drink."

Taylor pretended to consider it for a moment but then changed her mind. "Nope, I don't think so. I don't like your deals and I don't make promises I know I'm not going to keep. Sorry. Nice try though."

He didn't expect the deal to work out because he didn't think Taylor would change her mind anytime soon about the singing factor. Why was it so hard to get someone who could actually sing a tune to sing?

Taylor didn't like the game he was playing. "Yeah, I think I'd much prefer to pay for it," she muttered, holding her mouth to the straw and drawing a sip.

Then all of a sudden, Taylor and Angel heard an excessive amount of banging at the front entrance of the Riot and turned their heads toward the commotion.

"Don't answer it," Taylor said, chewing her straw.

"Why? Whoever is knocking might be important."

"And whoever is knocking might be an axe murderer. You want to take that chance? I could be killed."

"What about me?" Angel asked.

Taylor moaned. "Oh, everybody knows that in times of danger, no murderer is ever really going to go for the guy. They're going to go for the pretty girl the guy is with and in this case, that's me."

"Taylor," Angel said, leaning forward across the counter, his eyes focused in on Taylor. "In a crucial moment, I really don't think a murderer is going to pin point his next victim. He'd probably go for anyone he could get."

Taylor crossed her arms over her tank top. "How do you know? You're not skilled on the subject matter. But fine, if you really think you know everything then you open the door. You can be his first fatality."

"Glad to see you have your priorities in order," Angel said, making his way around the bar in the path of the front way in.

Taylor showed him a broad grin at the exact moment he turned around and met hers. "Yep," she folded her arms against the counter bench. "And look on the bright side, if he does decide to kill you first, at least it gives me plenty of time to hear your screams and run away."

"And call for help. You would call for help, right?"

"I suppose I wouldn't need to. You'd already be dead." Taylor put on an insignificant smile. "Of course I'd call for help. I'm not as egocentric as some people might think. Just get the door."

Angel looked at her with a full of yourself look as he went to the door and unlocked it, pulling it open, astounded to see recognizable faces standing opposite him in the rain getting drenched.

"You going to let us in or what?" asked Melissa, a bent and wrecked umbrella in her hands. "You know it's really wet. I'm getting wet standing here."

Angel moved aside to let Melissa in and as she stepped forward into the building, Will knocked fists with Angel. And as he pushed the door close, force pushed it open once more, bringing in more people who were seeking refuge from the rain storm. "Ooh, it's really coming down out there. Thanks, Angel," Cherie said.

Angel could hardly identify Cherie when her tresses were damp. Otherwise, the girl was a dead give away with her wavy red hair.

"A safe house," another girl said behind her. It was most likely Gina. They tend to travel in pairs. "From out of the rain…yeah, I hope it doesn't rain too long. I've made other plans," Gina said in a self-important voice, inspecting her faux finger nail.

And then when Tia, Angel's ex girlfriend rushed into the Riot with her current boyfriend, Conner, Alanna and Andy, Angel realised there was a reason for Gina's superiority towards everyone else now standing front and centre in the room and suddenly wished he had taken up Taylor's offer to just ignore whoever was at the door. At this point, anything would be better than being in the same place as all of these people staring back at him. Boy, they were in for a very interesting night.

* * *

"Are you OK?" asked Taylor as she walked into the back room where Angel was confining himself to.

"Oh, yeah, I'm just great despite the fact that I'm in the same room as my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend. Isn't it a little weird for you too?"

Taylor sat down on the washed out grey couch beside Angel. "Well, of course it is. Why do you think I have wanted to spend all of my free time here at the Riot with you? But I've been trying to do something for a while now and I think it's when you try to ignore the reality of our ex boyfriend and ex girlfriend moving on already and we're still just coming to terms knowing we're no longer in a relationship with said persons."

"Sounds like a good plan. Is it working?"

Taylor shrugged her shoulders tersely. "I'll let you know when the night is over and the rain has stopped."

Angel gave an appreciative hug. And they sat in silence for as long as they could. All that they could hear was the resonance op people's voices getting louder and louder in the other room. Taylor laid her head on Angel's shoulder, wishing she could stay this way forever or at least until everyone else were able to leave. She didn't want to have to go back out there and hear drivel chitchat from the people she sometimes called her friends.

None of them had ever been forced to be in the one room together before—not unless they needed to be—and school didn't count because a teacher had always been present to resolve any bickering. It wasn't until now that each person who was here realised those who they weren't friends with and didn't hang out with outside of school, just didn't have anything in common with them. They couldn't tolerate one another and it made Taylor wonder why she had even considered herself a friend to all of them.

Taylor whimpered vociferously. Enough was enough. Something had to be done.

The door swung open and a voice sounded through the small crack of the open door. "Oh, I'm sorry…it's just some of us are kinda thirsty and I was wondering if we'd be able to get a drink? But my bad, I didn't realise I'd be interrupting something." Taylor and Angel both jumped up and turned around, seeing Melissa standing in the door way.

"No, its cool, Liss, you're not interrupting anything important," Taylor composed herself solemnity, arching her back straight and pulling her red tank top down even farther as though she had just been caught in a compromising position. "Angel and I were just getting some _fresh_ air. It's a little stuffy in there."

Angel side-stepped around both Taylor and Melissa, his eye contact being kept to a minimum between each one, not wanting to call any interest to their current position. The last thing he needed was being told he liked Taylor more than a friend when he knew there was nothing more between them than a close friendship. "I'll get the drinks then. Your usual?" he asked Melissa.

Melissa smiled harmoniously. "Yes, Please."

Then after he departed, Melissa lowered her voice. "I don't think it's very wise that you spend so much time with Angel."

"And why not?" Taylor asked, raising her hands slightly. She was getting quite infuriated of her friends telling her who she could and couldn't hang out with. She didn't like anyone who didn't need to tell her what to do. It just wasn't her style to be bossed around. If she was an employee then she could stand to be ordered and told what to do but she wasn't and her friends were not her boss. Taylor wasn't sure how much more she could take.

"Didn't you listen to anything Annie and I said the other day at school?"

Taylor folded her arms across her chest, pursing her lips together. "No, I was trying not to."

"Look, I'm not saying this to be mean but--"

"Oh, you're not? Then why say it? You don't even like Tia. You said it yourself. You can tell me as many times as you like but I'm still not going to listen to you. I get that you're looking out for me or whatever but I don't need you looking out for me. I get enough of that at home from my parents. I don't need it from my friends too."

"Well, technically, I'm your cousin not your friend but whatever. I know your parents. I do understand where you're coming from. I was just offering you some advice."

"But I don't want your advice," Taylor screeched a little louder than she should have. "I didn't even ask for advice from you. I will _do_ what I want and I will be _friends_ with who I want. Got that?"

Melissa nodded her head offhandedly. She knew better than to argue with her cousin when she was on one of her _'I-don't-give-a-shit'_ speeches. "And apparently so does everyone else."

"We heard shouting and wanted to know what was going on," Tia said, digging her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "Is it true?" she looked at Taylor with rarity.

Taylor's hand flew to her forehead as though she was wiping a bead of sweat from her brow line. Why couldn't Mother Nature make the rain stop now?

"Well, you all may as well hear what I have to say now. You've practically heard it anyway. Yes, I am friends with Angel but unlike Melissa and her opinions, there is nothing going on between us. We're not in a relationship. We're just friends. I'd never do that to you, Tia and the fact that you even have to ask shows you don't believe me either. But if you really want to know why I spend so much of my time hanging out with Angel instead of you then really, it's simple.

Conner is my ex boyfriend and Tia, you and the others are friends with him. Melissa, you're friends with Josh who is also another ex boyfriend of mine and they both happen to be dating new girlfriends. Call me crazy but I generally don't like to be friends with my ex boyfriend and their new girlfriend. It can get a little weird. But I didn't think I'd have to explain myself to any of you." Taylor looked around at Melissa, Tia, Andy, Jessica and Cherie, their stunned expressions saying everything. Yes, it was an outburst but it wasn't uncalled for. Taylor felt like she hadn't been given any other choice.

She threw her hands in the air. "So there you go. You know why I've been spending so much time at the Riot. It's not a secret. I just didn't think my _friends_ would be so suspicious of me and my activities. I'm sorry for shouting but you have to know that I'll never be friends with Alanna because I don't like her."

"Oh, don't worry. The feeling is very much communal." Alanna had heard every word she said.


	8. When It Was Me

**_She's got green eyes and she's 5'5"  
Long brown hair all down her back  
Cadillac truck  
So the hell what  
What's so special about that  
She used to model, she's done some acting  
So she weighs a buck 'o 5  
And I guess that she's alright if perfection is what you like_**

Paula DeAnda, "When It Was Me"

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

Shit! This was all she needed. Now that Alanna knew she didn't like her, would she go and tell Conner? She could just imagine how he'd react. Even after she was left alone after kindly telling her friends to get out, she still couldn't process all that had just happened. Yet, the second her friends went away, the arguments started up again. Taylor wasn't how much more she could take tonight. First, they started in on her and now it was each other. Then she did something she knew she'd probably live to regret but she knew that what she had planned would put a stop to the consistent arguing.

**I'M GOING 2 "DO" IT NOW IF IT WILL PUT A STOP 2 THE FIGHTS. CUE THE LIGHTS, PLS**, Taylor hit send and hoped Angel would have his phone on him to read her text message. A few minutes later, Angel appeared on cue, standing at the stage left where Taylor was now standing.

"I got your message," he said. "You sure you want to do this now?"

No, she wasn't sure but what else could she do? Everyone was arguing. She wanted them to cease to exist. And just maybe if she showed them she could sing then they'd appreciate what they have opposed to people who were just hanging on in life.

Taylor shivered slightly. "Actually, no, I'm not sure but I don't know if I ever will be. And you're right. I can't hide in the shadow of someone else's dream forever. I have to let my own dream subside to the surface or it might be too late."

Angel leaned forward, touching either side of her arms. "You know I'm rooting for you, right? You're doing the right thing."

"I know." He was about the only one rooting for her. She wasn't even certain she had the confidence in herself to do this.

Angel whispered good luck in her ear, his breath warm against her ear lobe then as soon as he left; she slipped her black hooded sweater over her top, pulling the hood over her head as she took formation at the standing keyboard. The lights dimmed throughout the entire room, one light shining directly down on her.

It was then that she cleared her voice and opened her mouth, amazing every single one of her friends standing below her.

_So the story goes on down the less travelled road  
It's a variation on the one I was told  
And although it's not the same it's awful close_

_In an ordinary fairytale land  
There's a promise of a perfect happy end  
And I imagine heaven just sort of that, it's better than nothing_

_So you'll be mine forever and almost always  
And I'll be fine, just love me when you can, yeah  
And I'll wait patiently  
I'll wake up every day just hoping that you still care_

Taylor glided her fingers over the smooth white keys on the keyboard, in formation of what she was going to play. She had the song down to a fine art. Everybody turned their heads toward the stage and saw a spectacular sight.

Her whole group of friends were completely speechless for once—in total awe of the girl standing on stage singing as if they didn't even know it was remotely possible of Taylor singing. She was the girl standing in the shadows of someone else's aspirations. She would never show her true voice unless she thought it was absolutely necessary.

Conner was in awe of his one time girlfriend. Seeing her stand on stage, he didn't even know she was capable of doing something like singing. Of course, he had heard her sing by accident once before but that was before they had started dating. She was so diffident and valiant at one time, unable to take his eyes off of her. He was seeing her in a new shade of light. But he wasn't the only guy continuously watching her every move.

_In the corner of my mind I know to well  
That surely even I deserve the best  
But instead of leaving I just put the issue to bed and out of my head_

__

And just when I believe you've changed for good  
Well you go and prove me wrong just like I knew you would  
When I've run out of second chances you give me that look  
And you're off the hook

_Because you're mine forever and almost always  
Well I'm fine, just love me when you can  
And I'll wait patiently  
I'll wake up everyday just hoping that you still care_

She briefly looked over at Angel standing at the bar and he showed her his earth moving smile. His smiled that was able to shatter a million girl's hearts and it was then that she pretended he was the only one in the room.. And finally, she was able to go on.

_What am I still doing here?  
It's all becoming so clear_

__

You'll be mine forever and almost always  
It ain't right to just love me when you can  
I won't wait patiently  
Or wake up everyday just hoping that you'll still care

_Forever and almost always  
No, it ain't right to just love me when you can baby  
Ain't gonna wait patiently  
I won't wake up everyday just hoping that you'll still care_

As she finished playing her final note, Taylor dipped her head slightly, removing the hood from her head, letting it fall down her back.

Then she put one foot in front of the other took a stride toward centre stage. Her friends were staring at her, not clapping and cheering for her but staring at her. She had their full attention but she wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not.

Taylor breathed in heavily and then released moments later. _Here goes nothing_, she thought.

"Yeah, so, now you know I can sing. And I wasn't going to tell anyone because I've never told anyone that I can sing let alone actually do it. But I thought that if I showed you that I can sing then maybe you guys would stop arguing with each other. It's no ones fault that we are all stuck here together. And unless you want to be out in the storm getting wet then we really don't have any other choice so we may as well just live through the pain of hanging out with people we wouldn't normally hang out with. Maybe you'll actually come to realise that you have more in common than you first thought."

And just like that, Taylor had made her cue to leave the stage.

As she hopped off the stage, she was met by Angel with open arms and she immediately fell into them, taking kindly to his warm and affectionate cuddle.

"You were amazing," he said, lifting her high into the air.

"Oh, you think?"

"Absolutely," Angel replied. He set her down on the floor and she looked up at him, sparkles in her eyes.

"Well I'm glad you thought so because you know how much I respect your opinion. If it wasn't for you then I wouldn't have even sung."

"Yeah," Angel stopped, running a hand over his shaved head. There was something he needed to get off his chest and tell Taylor but he wasn't sure how he should say it or even if he should tell her. "Look, I have to tell you something."

Uh-oh! This looked serious.

"OK," Taylor drew out.

"I don't know how to put this or how you're going to react but—"

Someone's voice was heard, startling Angel and Taylor from behind.

"Um, can we talk?" Conner asked Taylor.

Taylor looked from Angel to Conner and then back to Angel. "Uh, actually, Angel and I were in the middle of something."

"No, it's OK. Go." Angel urged Taylor.

"You, positive? Whatever you were going to tell me sounded important?"

"Nope, it can wait. I promise. It's not important."

Taylor was torn between two people she cared deeply for. Conner was her ex boyfriend and despite her efforts to get over him; she still cared about him—a lot. But then there was Angel. He was her friend but in recent weeks, he had also become her confidante. The one she turned to for advice when she needed him.. Of course her feelings for Angel would never come close to being as deep as the kind she had for Conner but she still cared about Angel. She didn't want to hurt him. And whatever he wanted to say sounded important despite his effort to thwart her. But Conner was here and he wanted to talk to her. She ought to hear what he had to say.

Angel disappeared around the corner, giving Taylor and Conner space to talk alone.

But for the first couple of minutes, silence was ensued as though a time bomb was waiting to go off. You would be able to hear a pin drop.

Someone had to be the first to initiate the conversation. The ice needed to be broken. How could a conversation with your ex boyfriend be so damn difficult? She was shaking with nerves.

"So," Conner finally said. "Your song was…great."

"You really think I was good?" she didn't mean to ask him but somehow, it just came out. When they had been a couple, she'd go to Conner when she was looking for assurance. She was at a complete loss of what else to say.

"Absolutely," he said, barely meeting her eyes as he rubbed his hands down the front of his straight leg jeans. And conner realised he meant it. Despite the common interest in music that both of them shared, he would never lie to her to make her be in a better mood than she was. He was interested in what she had to say but his mind was consistently wandering to her eyes, her lips and her skin.

Was it wrong of him to be thinking of her this way when he had a girlfriend? She was his ex girlfriend, not his current girlfriend. Boy, this was turning out to be more complicated than he first thought it would be.

She was still one of the hottest girls he had ever known and for some reason, he couldn't tell himself otherwise that she wasn't hot, that it was _his_ girlfriend, Alanna who was hotter.

"Thanks," she admitted. He looked at her; his green eyes seemed to tie with hers. "I wasn't sure what anyone would think about it."

"Yeah, well, I think we were all just a little surprised that you could sing. But you did it."

Taylor flushed slightly. It was one thing to hear a compliment but from your ex boyfriend was another.

Then out of nowhere, Taylor began to stammer, looking over Conner's shoulder. He turned to see what was bothering her and saw his girlfriend making her way toward them. Taylor noticed Alanna gaping at her. Oh, shit! After everything this girl had heard Taylor say earlier, was she going to make a scene? The girl wasn't smiling. She looked so serious and Taylor was scared for what would happen next. Most girls had had a problem with Taylor when their boyfriends were spotted talking to her even if it was usually over school work or to say hello. And she didn't know why. Okay, maybe she did. According to her friends, she was a very attractive girl and had many admirers. But she also wasn't the kind of girl to go after other boys who were already in a relationship with someone.

"Hey," Conner said.

Alanna didn't say a word. She remained silent, pressing her lips together into a straight line, slipping her arm into Conner's. Could she be anymore obvious? Alanna was jealous and she was making it known to Taylor that she didn't stand a chance with Conner. She was his. Had it actually come down to possession between them? Who liked who more? If this was the game Alanna was going to play then could do it on her own.

Taylor wanted no part in it. She wasn't the type of girl to go out with a guy and control his every move as though he couldn't even breathe without checking with her first. She didn't even know how she and Melissa could be related and still so different from each other and could sometimes understand why Will had been interested in Jessica at the beginning of the year. Melissa scared the hell out of him with her constant need to be there and know where and who he was with at all times. Taylor liked to know how those girl's minds actually worked.

Taylor needed to get away from this psycho as fast as possible. Angel was right. The night did bring out harsh surprises—surprised she didn't want to deal with. People she didn't want to deal with but at least, most of the evening had turned out a success. She surprised everybody with her incredibly talented voice and she got to speak to Conner for the first time in what felt like a century ago. She had forgotten how good it felt to get his opinion and to hear what he had to say.

She almost felt whole again like nothing had really changed between them, except that it had. Alanna was in the picture but just maybe she wasn't his main focus after all. Just maybe he didn't think about her as much as she assumed he would. Maybe there was still a part of him that thought of her too.

And as she said her good byes to both of them and turned to walk in the opposing direction, she could have sworn she saw Conner turn back around and give her one last look, the same look he had given her in the past before they broke up. And it gave Taylor hope. Maybe he wasn't completely over her.

* * *

Meanwhile, Conner didn't understand why everything had to be made so complicated. He was just talking to his ex girlfriend. How was a simple conversation complicating the matter? Conner knew Alanna and Taylor would never ever be friends and he didn't want them to be. One was his girlfriend and one was his ex. That combination should never mix together. There were certain aspects of his life he shared with Taylor he didn't need Alanna knowing about. But was he not allowed to be friends with Taylor? Would Alanna forbid him from spending any unnecessary time with her? He knew he'd never be proper friends with Taylor but to not have her in his life. That wasn't something he could think about because it was hard enough to think about let alone do. He just couldn't accept having nothing to do with Taylor at all.


	9. 99 Times

**_So, you see_  
_You've got me back again for more_  
_And it seems_  
_Your song is in my head_  
_This is war_  
_Mystery; how I could feel you breathe me_**

Kate Voegele, "99 Times"

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

"So have you given it much thought?" Tia asked Taylor as both girls lay out in the morning sunshine on a gorgeous Saturday morning. The rain had finally cleared up enough to let the sun stream out from behind those depressing storm clouds.

"Sorry, what did you say?" asked Taylor, readjusting her pink and yellow floral halter top bikini.

Tia sat up, pushing her elbow into the back of the outside chair and looked over at her friend suspiciously. "Boy, your mind is elsewhere this morning. Why did you even invite me over?" she asked.

Taylor pushed her square sunglasses down her nose, peering over the top of them and stared at her bronzed friend in a black flower beaded bikini.

"If I recall, you invited yourself over because you were bored and lonely. I could be doing something else right now."

Tia shrugged her shoulders and sighed, sinking back into the pool side chaise. "I know but could I help it if your pool was practically calling out my name. After all the wet weather we've had lately, it's far too nice of a day to waste it inside. Besides, I didn't exactly need to twist your arm much. You look hot in your bikini."

Taylor leaned back into her chaise, closing her eyes. "Thanks," she murmured. "It's new." She twisted her body slightly. "And what's your excuse?"

"I merely wanted to spend some quality time with by cousin whom I haven't seen enough of lately," Melissa answered casually as she read a copy of People magazine in the lounge beside Taylor.

"Mm," Taylor said with curiosity as she pondered her cousin's true reason for being here. Melissa was lying even though she made a great liar but she couldn't fool Taylor. Somehow Taylor always knew when she was lying through her teeth. "Yeah, that must be the case because you just love to hang out at my place when Tia is here." She turned Tia and gave her an apologetic smile. "No offence, Tee."

Tia waved her hand in response and then placed it on the arm of the lounge, staring up into the sky as she closed her eyes and relaxed. She was just glad she didn't have to work at her family's delicatessen this morning.

"Oh, no, that's okay. I know Melissa doesn't like me very much. I don't really like her either so yes, you're right to be suspicious or maybe not. I mean, we have been getting along a lot better in recent weeks."

Melissa paused for a moment, pulling her eyes from her magazine to look over at Tia. "We really have learnt to tolerate each other but I wouldn't go too far as to say we're now friends. And my only other reason to be here is to catch up on my celebrity gossip. Some actress on one of those teen soaps was caught kissing her hot male co star on camera and they weren't filming a scene."

"Ooh, really, which one was it?" Tia feigned interest. She too was a sucker for gossip on starlets whom were on the television shows she loved to watch.

Taylor covered her eyes again with her sun glasses so that her friend and her cousin wouldn't see her roll her eyes as she lowered herself back into the chaise, slipping the ear buds connected to her iPod into her ears and switching her music on at a volume not too loud but still allowed her to listen and follow along to the music.

"You guys both have boyfriends. You should be hanging out with them." Taylor shrugged one shoulder.

"Yeah, I know but I don't feel like seeing Will this morning," Melissa said, keeping her eyes on the magazine in her hands.

"And Trent is coaching his little league team this morning.

"Do I detect a hint of strain brewing between the two of you?" Taylor asked Melissa.

"No, you do not," Melissa said, matter of factly. "For once, Will and I are actually going great without any problems which probably means we'll be swimming into infested waters soon but I also hope I'm wrong. Still, we don't have to spend every waking minute together. Being one half of a couple means you can also split your time with friends without the constant need of being together."

Taylor opened her mouth to the shape of an 'O.' "Who are you and what have you done to the real Melissa? My cousin would never say or do something like that."

"I'm still me. It's just…after we broke up and got back together, Let's just say, I've learned to appreciate the finer things of being in a relationship.

But it's not all about us, you know. What about you? You're smoking hot, Taylor. You should be showing off your body at the beach, not at home beside your pool."

"Melissa's right," Tia agreed with enthusiasm. "In that bikini, every single guy would be no doubt ogling you. And in my honest opinion, it is exactly what you need. You need to move on just like Conner. And sure, the guy is my friend but I also consider you a friend so is it wrong if I'd like to see my friends happy for once? He moved on, so should you."

But Taylor wasn't looking to move on right away. She wasn't looking for someone to be her new boyfriend.

"Guys, I appreciate you thinking I look hot in my new bikini but I don't want to have a boyfriend right now," Taylor said. "Besides, who is going to look at me when I've got this thing on my leg?" She pointed at her cast.

"Who said anything about a boyfriend?" Tia asked, pressing her lips together. "You don't need a boyfriend to have a little fun. This way, you are allowed to keep your options open. Flirt with a guy or two. Maybe even a lifeguard."

"Ooh," Melissa exclaimed excitedly, prying her focal point away from her magazine. "A hot lifeguard is like a Kleenex. It's exactly what you need to move on. Always fun. And no guy is gonna be bothered by the cast on your leg. Besides, you won't have it attached forever."

Taylor gathered her hair into a messy ponytail, securing it with an elastic band from around her wrist and pulled her good leg towards her as she swung then off of the chaise.

"Well, this has been fun but I really must be going. I have a lot to do before tonight like make sure the bands are still able to play tonight and then on top of that, I have to find something to wear. But feel free to stay here for as long as you like. You're both always over here anyway."

Melissa rolled her eyes. "See what I mean? This is why I haven't seen much of you lately. You've been too busy getting tonight in order. Honestly, I'll be glad when it's over. At least, I will then get my cousin back. I'm thinking a shopping spree might be order."

"How would you like to go on a shopping spree right now?"

"OMG, are you for real?" Melissa asked with enthusiasm.

Taylor nodded her head up and down. "Yup, I think I deserve to look hot in something new tonight. After all, this concert is because of _moi_. It was my idea." She laid a hand to her chest.

"Then it's settled. We'll go shopping right now." Melissa, in hype, jumped up off the chaise almost knocking it upside down. She joined her hands together. "Ooh, this is going to be so much fun!" She exclaimed, drawing out her words. "See? We don't need boys to have fun."

"Who said we did?" Taylor asked herself silently, but luckily, Melissa didn't hear her. For the first time in a while, Taylor wasn't attached to a guy who was known as her boyfriend. Even when she lived in New York City, she had gotten plenty of attention from boys, but she really only had eyes for Matt. This time was different. Sure, she was still friends with boys however she was more determined than ever to be just friends with those said boys. The term _boyfriend_ brought way too much drama than she initially intended when she first agreed to go out with a boy, and in Taylor's case, it was usually more than she could handle. For reasons beyond Taylor's understanding, she tend to attract the guys who either had a troubled past or were trouble.

"They really only bring us down," Melissa continued rambling. "No, we're three young and incredibly hot women. We are capable of finding our own fun without needing a guy beside us, right, Tia?"

"Huh?" Tia answered softly. Taylor, apparently, wasn't the only one who had tuned off from Melissa. She was grateful to know she wasn't a bad friend or cousin.

Tia looked at Taylor, showing confusion and Taylor chuckled discreetly to herself as Tia uttered a reply back to Melissa that would agree with her even if she hadn't heard everything she said.

Taylor delicately rose to her feet, pulling her crutches with her as she rested the softness of the arm on her arm pit. "So, I suppose now wouldn't be a good time to change me mind, right?"

She knew she had her answer but Taylor did love to see the kind of reaction she got from her cousin. It was priceless most of the time.

This time was no exception.  
"Oh, of course you're capable of changing your mind." Melissa stalled, tapping her finger to her arm. "You just can't change your mind to me today. Nope, I'm afraid it's too late." She shook her head, pulling a pink sequined tank top over her green and white striped bikini. She pointed her perfectly manicured finger at her. "You already said you'd go shopping and that's good enough for me. Let's go."

* * *

"Ooh, that looks so good on you," Tia gushed, referring to the gold and black sleeveless metallic 2fer dress Taylor was currently sporting. Taylor showed a demure smile as she kept her focus on the reflection she saw in the wooden framed full length mirror. She, Tia and Annie were holding Jessica's bedroom hostage as they all got ready for the concert taking place in exactly an hour's time.

At first, Taylor hadn't been sure of the dress she had bought shopping today but Tia and Melissa had assured her she rocked the dress and looked hot in it. Melissa had even joked she'd have all of the rock stars drooling over, especially when she teamed the dress with black open toe crinkle patent cross strap stud heels. But still, Taylor wasn't one hundred percent certain she could pull it off. She was flattered her friends gave her positive feedback but could she really dare herself to wear this tonight? All eyes would be on her. Okay, so she'd have people watching her anyway when she would be on stage introducing the bands but still, there would be more than she wanted or needed.

But she also hadn't been able to object. Taylor had little choice. She couldn't say no, not when Tia and Melissa had demanded she get this dress. It was weird for Tia and Melissa to both agree on something, sharing the same opinion but they remained adamant that it was perfect for Taylor.

"You think?" Taylor asked. There was still time to go home and change if she needed to.

"Absolutely," Tia replied. "Now tell me something, do I look hot?" She did a little twirl on the spot.

Taylor looked carefully at the dark teal dress her friend was wearing right down to the way the floral chiffon material flared about and with puff sleeves. And on top of that, she chose to wear black bohemian platform ankle strap heels. They, too, were a perfect match for Tia and added a little height to her petite size.

"Well, put it this way. I bet Trent doesn't leave your side at all tonight. He'll be making sure every other guy knows you have a boyfriend while undressing you with his own eyes."

Tia smirked. "Hm, yeah, I know he will be."

"So you—wow, you two look hot!" Jessica cut herself off as she returned to her bedroom to join her friends from the bathroom she shared with her twin sister. "You're putting my own dress to shame. I detest you and your stunning good looks."

"Nonsense, that brown and grey animal printed sublimation mini dress looks gorgeous on you, Jess."

"Oh, okay, I'll agree that we all look hot, even Ms Annie in the bathroom. But seriously, Tee, Trent is going to be beating all the single guys off with a stick. And Taylor, you'll have all those bad-ass tattooed rock stars begging to go out with you. You're a total rock chick!

"Jess is right," Taylor said, agreeing with Jessica. "You're looking hot, Taylor."

Taylor gave her friends an explicative look. "Are you two feeling okay? You actually agreed on the same thing."

Tia and Jessica looked at each other, giving a smile and wrapping an arm around the other's shoulders.

"That's just 'cause we're both right. You are smoking hot, girl!" Jessica grinned.

Normally, Taylor would bite back with a question to follow her suspicion about her friends' chipper mood but tonight, she was on too much of a high to let anything bring her down and it wasn't any kind of illegal substance she had to thank.

"Whatevs," Taylor waved them off. "I don't care to know what the two of you are up to tonight. I refuse to let anything bring me down. I'm happy and I'm sure it's got something to do with the fact that I don't have a cast on my leg anymore."

She turned to walk out the door just as Annie emerged, linking her arm with hers.

"So was your leg all ugly and gross when it came off like on TV?" Jessica asked with curiosity.

Taylor merely laughed at her friend's question, realizing tonight was going to be the fresh start she needed to move on. The cast was finally off and according to her friends, she looked hot. She couldn't look back, not now when everything could only go up from here. Her favourite bands were playing her favourite music and she was damn sure going to enjoy the night she planned, forgetting all about the non-existent boys in her life. She only wanted to obsess over the boys who played on stage.


	10. This World Won't Wait

**_Everything seems ok  
His playing the perfect game  
everything is black and white  
Leaving for a while_**

Dean Geyer, "This World Won't Wait"

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

An hour into the concert after three bands had already taken to the stage, not including the band that were currently playing, Taylor stood to the side of the stage with Angel, swaying along to the upbeat tempo of the song as she nervously chewed on her nail-polish chipped nail.

Moments earlier, she had been given the news over the phone that the band that was due to take to the stage next was regrettably unable to make it at all, saying something about family commitments had suddenly come up. Of course, Taylor had been sympathetic with them, knowing family came first but it didn't make her situation any less stressful and nerve-racking. She didn't have another act to follow such a fan favourite band like Boys like Girls, until Angel suggested she sing instead.

Taylor had practically laughed in his face. She couldn't believe he had even let those words slip out of his mouth. She should sing. Yeah, right. That wasn't going to happen. It was one thing to sing to your friends during a rain storm but also to people you didn't know very well. Taylor had butterflies in her stomach just thinking about it.

Then again, she really didn't know what she was going to do. She didn't have much of a choice. All the other less known bands had already played and rather than let a band whom had already played go out again, she'd much prefer someone who hadn't already been on the stage—someone like her.

But she simply didn't see any other choice unless she wanted to disappoint the few hundreds of people who were crowding the floors of the Riot.

Taylor sighed heavily, taking a deep breath.

"I'll do it," she said without turning around.

"Do what"? Angel asked.

"Sing."

Angel's eyes lit up just as Taylor turned around to face him. She saw his face turn into a wide smile.

"You'll do it?" he asked her again.

Taylor nodded her head feebly.

Time went by and before Taylor had time to change her mind about getting on stage to sing, Boys like Girls finished Love Drunk and Angel jumped on stage, announcing the next act which was her.  
Oh, shit! How the hell did that happen so fast? She wasn't even sure she was ready to show her talent to the whole world. But she couldn't back out. She was on—now.

When Angel said her name, she was certain that those of her friends standing on the first and second floor of the riot would be surprised to hear her name mentioned. No one would be expecting her to sing tonight. She had kept that awfully quite, they'd probably be thinking. She couldn't let those thoughts of what she figured her friends were thinking consume her. It was her cue to make her stage debut for the second time.

After a minute of self-assurance making sure she knew all the words to the song she was going to sing. The song she had written a mere two weeks ago. It wasn't perfect and she didn't have a whole lot confidence in it but it was also the only song she had written in a while to mean something to her. Then slowly and steadily, she held her head up high and walked onto the stage, careful to watch ahead of her. The last thing she needed right now was to lose her balance and fall over in front of her friends, family, musicians and people she didn't know.

Oh, god! Here come the butterflies-again and her hands fell to her side in an attempt to hide the bundle of nerves she was feeling. She tried to feel confident but no matter how hard she tried, it just wasn't working. She shouldn't be up here. The stage wasn't her place to shine. She should save it for someone who did want this-someone like Conner.

Then Angel leaned in, his breath warm against her skin and whispered four words into her ear.

"You can do this."

He had said it like he could see straight through her. No amount of clothing could make up for what she was truly wearing inside.

And his words seemed powerful beyond belief. They hit her in an instant. She could do this. All she had to do was believe in herself and in the words of the song. She had talent. She knew that. Now she just had make everyone else know of her talent as well. She was up to the challenge of showing what she could do and what she was capable of doing.

As she took her place on centre stage where the standing microphone had been set up for her, one single white light shone directly down on her from above while the rest of the stage went dark around her, making her feel as though she was the only important person on stage.

Forgetting about the people standing in front of her, she closed her eyes and slowly opened her mouth, releasing her first note followed by a second and third.

_I've had a bad day_

_And nothing ever seems to go my way_

_I've got a heartache_

_Don't wanna think about it_

She didn't care that her voice would most likely sound empty and hollow without some kind of bass or drum. But at this point, she also didn't care. She simply wanted to get it over with.

_And every time I try to smile, I cry, so_

_I'll just hide my face_

_Get out of my way_

_Don't wanna talk about it_

_And I'll be fine_

_I just need some time_

Then as she began the first line to the chorus, the faint sounds of a bass guitar and drum fell into a hushed build up in sync with her voice. Taylor hadn't realised she'd have the right kind of music to go with her song but she didn't look back, instead she powered with the song and tension she had previously been feeling soon disappeared from her body. Her heart trembled with excitement not fear.

_I'm hanging on today_

_And nothing's gonna stop me, anyway_

_I'm holding on, I'm strong_

_I'm the only one who can make it change_

_I don't wanna fight_

_I gotta live my life_

_I'm gonna make it right_

_I'm hanging on and nothing's gonna stop me, anyway_

A short thirty seconds in between the chorus and the next verse allowed Taylor to catch her breath as her eyes opened again and she slipped the microphone off the stand, feeling her hands tightly wrap around it like she was born to have a microphone in her hands. When she moved slightly to the left, her white light followed in her direction but this time it wasn't the only light shining on the stage. A rainbow of coloured lights lit up the stage, exposing a drummer and two bass players who smiled at Taylor when she showed them gratitude.

Then she turned back to a crowd cheering for more, ready to finish what she started.

_I went the wrong way_

_But I'm not lost, it's a good mistake_

_I saw the day break_

_I'm gonna shout about it_

_Oh, and everytime I turn around_

_I find that, I'm alone again_

_I've had a bad day_

_I'm gonna laugh about it_

_And I'll be fine_

_I'm gonna be all right_

_I'm hanging on today (today, yeah)_

_And nothing's gonna stop me, anyway_

_I'm holding on, I'm strong (I'm strong)_

_I'm the only one who can make it change_

_I don't wanna fight_

_I gotta live my life_

_I'm gonna make it right_

_I'm hanging on and nothing's gonna stop me,_

_Nothing's gonna stop me_

She threw her whole body into the song, moving back and forth on the stage but careful with her footwork so not to trip over while she wore her extremely high heeled shoes. As she scanned the crowd of people forming next to the stage, her gaze fell on no one in particular though she did manage to get a glimpse of those whose opinions of her tonight mattered the most to her-Melissa was with Will. Her parents were watching in amazement of their daughter's hidden talent. Tia and Trent. Annie, Brittany and the rest of her junior crowd friends. Even Conner was unable to take his eyes off of her. They were all smiling at her and obviously very proud of her, making the night that more memorable for all the right reasons.

_When I get lonely_

_I feel like I'm floating_

_Nothing is real_

_I'm above it all_

_I'm above it_

_I'm above it all_

_I'm hanging on today_

_And nothing's gonna stop me, anyway_

_I'm holding on, I'm strong_

_I'm the only one who can make it change_

_I don't wanna fight_

_I gotta live my life_

_I'm gonna make it right_

_I'm hanging on and nothing's gonna stop me, anyway_

_I've had a bad day_

Once the music ended, Taylor's breathing slowed down to an even pace as people in the audience applauded her, even those who were accompanied by an instrument on stage and she became overwhelmed by adrenaline coursing through her body. Was this a sensation rock stars felt upon the leg of their tour or song? She truly felt appreciative of those before her. They actually liked her song.

For a few minutes more, Taylor stayed on stage, basking in the glory of those who thought she were worthy enough for it then after a quick "thank you for coming," she flew off the stage, retreating to the back room for a quick breather. She knew she'd be wanted out on the dance floor. Her friends and family would want to see her but at this second; she was where she wanted to be—alone to compress her own emotions circling her mind, bunching her newly brunette hair into a ponytail.

"Your performance was superb." She heard a deep voice tell her.

Still reeling with the adrenaline she possessed on stage, Taylor, not thinking twice, gave her attention towards the doorway where a blonde haired boy about 5''8 stood, his sea of blue-green eyes staring right through her and she blushed. The attention he was giving her was all on her.

"Um, thanks," she said politely, pushing her hair on top of her head. She wasn't sure who he was or how he managed to get access into the room but she was appreciative of his appraisals.

"So," he stepped forward. "My name's Luke." He held his hand out towards Taylor and, taking it in hers, they shook hands.

"Taylor."

"Yeah, I know. You're currently an 8.7 on . I'm a 9.5." His front bangs shaking as he spoke.

Oh, crap! He was from that website Brittany had signed her up to. She was going to kill Brittany for doing this to her.

"Um, look, my friend was the one who made my profile. She did it because she thinks she's trying to help me by setting me up on a dating website she should be doing for herself but according to her, my life is a lot more interesting to play with than hers. I just got out of an intense relationship. I'm not looking for anything right now. Sorry," Taylor said truthfully. She crossed her legs over the other.

"No, it's cool. I understand." He seemed genuinely contented, pulling out a thin piece of cardboard from his jeans pocket and handed it to her. Taylor took it out of politeness.

"Call me if you change your mind."

Taylor looked down at the piece of paper in her hands as he walked out the door, his name and number printed on the front.

He passed Brittany on the way out.

"Who was that?" she asked, her eyes gazing back at him. "He was hot. He's got to be a…"

"9.5," Taylor finished for her. She watched her friend's eyes widen in delight and chuckled. "Yeah, I know. He's hot but it's too bad I turned him down. I guess he's always available for the next girl—or you, provided you stop posting my updates to that website."

Brittany folded her arms over her chest, standing ground. "What website?"

"Please. You know what I'm talking about."

Brittany threw her hands up in the air with a small smirk. "Okay, so maybe I do know a little about that website. But you can't blame a friend from wanting to see her best friend happy."

"Brittany, your heart is in the right place but I just don't want to be made the object in one of your match making games. I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now. Can you understand that?" she asked her in a way that she hoped wouldn't break her friends heart.

Brittany slumped down beside Taylor. "Of course I do. I just don't like to see one of my best friends down in the dumps over some boy. You deserve to be happy and to move on with an incredibly hot boy. And as one of your best friends, I'm entitled to say this. Conner's an ass. You shouldn't be pining over him."

Brittany draped an arm across Taylor's shoulders.

"I have not been pining over Conner," Taylor tried to protest but Brittany looked at her as if to say, you can't lie to me.

"OK, so maybe I have been pining over him but I'm not anymore. And yes, you're right; I shouldn't be pining over him because he's moved on from me so I should try to move on too."

"I just wished you had the courage to tell him that you had an incredibly gorgeous single friend who's willing to go out with him," Brittany sighed, resting her head on Taylor's shoulder.

"Well, I did get_ Luke's_ number."

Brittany widened her eyes enthusiastically. "Luke? Ooh, even his name is sexy. Guess he'll be my first _Luke_." She took the card from Taylor, almost snatching it, and then hugged her. "Thank you, thank you, and thank you. You're the best friend I could ever ask for."

Taylor simply shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, I know I am. I mean I have learnt a little bit from being your friend these past two years."

* * *

"Alanna?" Conner asked as he walked out the door of the Riot and into the cool night air as he searched for his girlfriend. After watching Taylor end her solo performance a minute ago, he looked down and Alanna was gone.

Then he spotted her hunched together to keep herself warm beneath the brown crop jacket she was wearing over the top of her black strapless faux leather belted bubble mini dress.

He said her name again, this time with a little more compassion and he came forward just as she turned around to look at him.

"What's the matter?" he asked her, noticing her eyes round and blood shot.

He reached out his arms and tried to embrace her but she shot him down, and instead he only got her elbow.

"Don't—I just can't deal with it right now," she said her voice cracking. Alanna brought one hand to her face, rubbing her forehead.

"What are you talking about?" Conner asked with wide eyes.

"Don't you get it? I saw you in there, the way you were looking at Taylor when she was on stage. You still like her."

"Well, of course I still like Taylor. We're friends." Conner wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"But I'm not talking about being friends. You're not just friends with her even if you think you are. You two will never be _just friends_. The connection the two of you have together goes beyond any kind of normal friendship."

"Why? Because we both have music in common? So what if we share a love for music. That doesn't change anything."

"No, that doesn't but music is only part of the equation that makes up you and Taylor. I'm not blind. I see the way your eyes light up every time she enters a room. I was a fool for thinking you could like me the way you like Taylor. It's just not possible because you see; you can't love me or any other girl if you're still in love with Taylor. She's always going to be the girl you go back to because she was your first love."

"I…I love you."

Alanna showed him a half smile. She wanted to believe his words, she really did but she just couldn't. She knew that deep down inside, even if he wasn't even aware of it, he was still harbouring feelings for his ex girlfriend.

"You think you love me. You want to love me because in order of trying to love me, you don't feel so guilty about feeling something for Taylor."

Silence. Deadpanned. And it echoed in his mind. Was this really happening? Was Alanna actually breaking up with him? This never happened. Conner was the one who broke up with the girl not the other way around. He didn't get dumped.

But he also felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Go be with her," Alanna said. "You're off the hook. You don't need to love me anymore."

He and Alanna said their goodbyes but Conner's goodbye was less emotion, still coming to terms with the fact that she was breaking up with him. Her words left him stunned even though he figured he should be relieved. Conner was given a one way pass with Taylor, provided he hadn't already stuffed his chances with her. His heart wasn't put entirely into the relationship and he should have realised it from the beginning but he guessed he had just wanted to feel something for Alanna that he never had the courage to break it off with her. He could be called a coward. No girl deserved to be strung along for the pure sake of a broken heart.

As he watched Alanna walk away, not sure if he'd ever see her again, slouching the back of his black leather jacket against a brick wall and sighed.

Alanna was right. He hadn't realised he still liked Taylor. He guessed he was trying to cover up his true feelings for Taylor with pretend feelings for Alanna. This was all so messed up. It didn't even feel like his life anymore like he had stepped into someone else's. When did his world become so complicated? He remembered there was a time—before Taylor—when his love life was a breeze to read. Taylor had burst into his life like an explosion having all kinds of impacts. She made him toy with his head and play with his heart and feelings he didn't even think he were capable of feeling resurfaced.

He guessed he hadn't kidded Alanna or probably his friends too. They were still able to see though him. He was single just as Taylor was and he didn't plan on staying single for long but chances were Taylor had waited long enough to take him back a second time. Maybe she was ready to move on but he sure wasn't.

* * *

Just as Taylor was seen mingling with her friends and family—those who had showed up to support her concert—telling her how awesome she of a singer she was and questioned her as to why she hadn't told anyone she could sing, Angel pulled her aside to make small talk yet what he had to say proved far more important than she realised. Taylor figured he wanted to be the next person to congratulate her on conquering and overcoming her stage fright.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked him over the loud noise in the background.

"You're gonna want to hear this," he answered, guiding her into a small confined corner.

Taylor wrapped her arms over her body, hugging herself tightly, wary of his next sentence.

"It's nothing bad. I promise." Angel assured her gently.

"OK…then what is it?"

And so Angel filled her in about being asked if she'd like to accompany Boys like Girls on their national tour as their opening act. That they had liked her performance so much, they wanted her to be a part of their live tour for three months travelling across the country to promote their current album. The expression on Taylor's face said it all. She was speechless beyond words. She didn't know what to say. The record label had told him they had personally asked for Taylor and they had only heard her sing this one time.

Apparently, they had also said there was the opportunity of if she went well on the tour; she could have a recording contract alongside her favourite band. She hadn't even begun to think about a career in music. She didn't think of herself as a singer yet here she was with the chance of a lifetime too good to pass us. She couldn't say no could she?

This was too much news to handle on her own. She'd have to confront her parents with it and get them on board of her decision to skip out on the next three months of school to go cross country in a tour bus with a famous rock band. Would her parents even agree to let her go? It was one thing to allow her to miss three weeks of school to go to New York City and partake in a dance program but this time was a little different. She'd be gone for longer than three weeks and she'd never be in the one place for longer than three days.

Plus she would be touring with a band her parents know to a bar of soap except for the music they made which they had heard her listen to. And if she had any chance of going, she'd need to do it tonight given that she wasn't given a lot of time to talk it over. The tour would begin tomorrow in Los Angeles.

After almost an hour of telling the opportunity she had been given to her parents and then admitting she too was also scared, fretful of what the country would think of her music, she and her parents knew she wouldn't be able to pass this up despite the fact that they weren't even aware of her trying to pursue her musical talent, her parents had finally said yes to letting her go on tour provided she be accompanied by Angel.

That had been their catch—no Angel, no tour. That was a pretty fair deal or so Taylor though given that she'd be missing three months of school although she had also been told she'd have to catch up on her school work through e-mail. She'd transfer her work load through the internet via her teachers and parents. But the downside to going on a tour for three months was being unable to see her family and friends everyday. Despite all the new people she would encounter on this trip, she was going to miss those who mattered most to her—like her mother and father, younger brothers, Tia, Annie, Melissa, Will, Brittany and even Conner.

* * *

Feeling a wave of hot breath against the back of her neck, Tia spun around, finding Conner standing behind her, his eyes on the stage.  
Tia looked around him, expecting to find Alanna. Lately, the girl was attached to Conner's hip and Tia suspected it had something to do with Taylor but instead, he was alone.

"Where's Alanna?" Tia asked him, shouting over the music so that she could be heard.

"Anywhere but here," Conner said without taking his eyes off of the band on stage. Tia noted he was distracted by something or someone. "But probably on her way home."

Tia's eyes opened with expectancy like she needed no explanation. She knew what he was talking about.

He kept his focus on the stage then manoeuvred his way around Tia.

"Excuse me," he mumbled. "There's something I've got to do."

He disappeared into the crowd just as Trent returned to Tia's side, placing an arm on her waist.

"Was that Conner?"

"Yup." Tia nodded her head, her ponytail bouncing up and down. She turned around to face her boyfriend. "I think he and Alanna broke up."

She showed a huge smile.

"Really? You don't seem sad about it."

"Oh, I'm positively heartbroken for them…well, not really," Tia shrugged her shoulder. "I did see this break-up coming you know."

"Why?" Trent asked.

Boy, her boyfriend could be daft when it came to matters of the heart.

"Don't you get it?" Tia asked, searching his dark eyes. He gave nothing back. "I guess you don't so I'll tell you. Conner isn't completely over his last girlfriend and I suppose Alanna finally realised he can't be with her if he's still in love with Taylor."

"And of course you're ecstatic about the break-up. They're two of your best friends. I should have realised this. You were never really keen about the prospect of their being a Conner and Alanna in the first place." Trent shook his head.

"It's okay. You're just not as smart as you should be with me. But don't worry, in time, you'll work it out."

* * *

Stumbling across the beach, vodka bottle in hand, Conner fell to his knees in the sand. His eyes were bleary but it wasn't from the alcohol. He knew this because he hadn't even touched the stuff yet. His body ached from something entirely different. And it wasn't the kind you could fix with any form of medication because if you could he was fairly certain the entire population to make up the world would have flocked to the drug store long before him to buy a remedy towards a broken heart.

He looked down at the glass bottle in his shaky hands, all of a sudden, longing to feel the smooth liquid run down his throat. He could almost taste the sweet sensation coarse through his body then remembered the impact that it had on him in recent months, which wasn't so sweet but had what tasted so sweet was really a bitter feeling those close to him had being dealt when he had been drinking.

His eyes fell off the bottle to the sea; a simple distraction was all he was looking for. He knew he couldn't go down that path again, allowing his family and friends to relive the pain they had once felt when he was hitting the bottle hard, though he realised that sometimes the temptation the substance drew was proving to be hard to resist, given the events that had gone down tonight, the feelings he had been forced to confront to the person he hadn't expected to be turned down by...

_"Conner, uh, hi," __Taylor__ had said the moment he caught up with her. She was finding her way out of the bathroom when he had spotted her from afar and figured now was as good as any to intervene, telling her how he felt. He would have given anything to cup her pretty face in his hands and kiss her wildly on the lips right there. But then wasn't the right time. Not yet until he knew if she still felt the same as he did. He didn't think this feeling had ever really gone away, had never resolved itself. _

_His hands slid into his pants pockets, nervous as hell. _

_"Great concert," he finally said. Was this as good as he was going to get? All of a sudden he'd have trouble to find the words to say how he really felt. He had had always been good with words. They'd just come naturally when he was trying to write a song but he'd never have the courage to confess those _feelings_ to somebody in person. _

C'mon, you can do this_, Conner coaxed himself through it. _She needs to know how much she still means to you.

_"Um, thanks," __Taylor__ said with uncertainty, her eyes trying to find reason in his face. She relaxed a little. "So I have to go—" she pointed in the direction of her parents. "Get ready to head home."_

_If this conversation was going anywhere tonight, he had better start now. She seemed to be in a hurry to be elsewhere. _

_He dug his hands deeper into his pockets. "Right, okay then. I guess I'll just see you in homeroom on Monday. We can talk then."_

_"Well, actually I won't be at school on Monday."_

_His eyebrows lifted in curiosity. "You won't?" She never missed school unless it was absolutely necessary or if she was really sick or injured._

_She shook her head. "No. You're gonna hear it anyway so I guess you may as well hear it from me. I'm…um, going on tour tomorrow. The first stop is __Los Angeles__."_

_"You are?" It all sounded too good to be true. Was this really happening? She nodded her head in reply. "So how long will you be gone for?"_

_"Three months." She shrugged a shoulder. "I'll be the opening act."_

_"Right," he murmured, barely able to process what she had told him._

_"Yeah, believe me; I'm as surprised as you are. I didn't expect to be asked to tour with my favourite band."_

_He tugged on her arm, her skin as smooth and soft as he remembered. "Then don't go," he whispered. "Stay here with me."_

_He didn't want her to go and he knew he had no place to ask her to stay but the words just slipped out._

_She stood opposite him with an open mouth stunned. "I…I…"_

_Was he asking her to turn a once in a lifetime opportunity down? She couldn't do it even if he was asking her to give him a second chance._

_The distance standing in between them shortened when someone bumped past __Taylor__, pushing her into his arms wide-open. She fell into them like an old pattern._

_He brushed a strand of her hair out of her face when she looked up at him, trying to maintain her composure. _

_"Look," he said in no subtle tone. "I know I am in no way an authority to ask you this but will you consider staying for me? I want you to stay. I want to be with you."_

_Her face searched his for a moment, and then she turned the other way. "I…I…can't."_

_She stabled the balance on her feet with the help of Conner's support and gently pulled away from him, putting space between the two of them._

_"So you're going to go on the tour?" He asked with pain stricken eyes._

_"I have to," __Taylor__ softly cried out. "I don't want to hurt you but I have to do this. I can't turn my back on something as big as a tour. _

_And as much as I would like to, I can't ask you to wait for me because I don't expect you to go on with life waiting for me until I get back from the tour. I refuse to be that girl who will simply hold onto a piece of your heart out of fear of losing you another girl that she doesn't want you to date. I'm sorry." Taking his hand in hers to pat him, she gently let go before she allowed herself to feel that same tingly sensation she'd normally feel whenever she held his hand. She couldn't do that right now, not if it meant having a change of heart. She couldn't afford to change her mind. She backed away from him, turning her back on him. But Conner couldn't just let her walk away as though he meant nothing to her._

_"__Taylor__?" he pleaded with her for one last time that night. He waited for her to turn around, counting to three. And when she did, he had this to say, "Would it be any constellation if I told you that I love you?"_

_She hated to see him put his heart on the line for her only to get an answer he wasn't looking for. But she couldn't help that. She wasn't the same girl as she was when he left her to go to rehab. Time had changed her._

_"If you had told me that a couple of months ago, I might have answered differently," she said. Then she was gone._

His body went numb. Three words he had always dreaded to say and just when he had finally gotten up the courage to express how he felt, his words had been rejected. He felt as though his heart had been ripped out and put into a blender or scrunched up into tiny pieces and thrown into the air. Taylor didn't mean to break his heart. He had seen it in her eyes. She was hurting just as much as he was. But she was right. Time had obviously changed her. A great lot had changed about Taylor.

And he had lost his chance to make it up to her. She was ready to make a clean slate, and ready to move on with her life. And now all he had to do to fix his broken heart was in the bottle of vodka in his hands. It would be too easy to pull the lid off the bottle, put it to his mouth and take a sip, waiting for the transition of tasting alcohol on his tongue after an absence of time to kick in. Once that happened, he'd have the whole bottle finished in a matter of time. But it was the fact that if he had just one sip, then that one sip would lead to an empty vodka bottle and soon enough, he'd be craving for more until he was right back where he was a couple of months ago—slipping into his brief time as an alcoholic.

He couldn't slip into old habits anymore. Rehab had changed him—for the better. He was determined to keep to his promise. He had seen the effect a problem like drinking too much could have on your life and the people close to him. He had pushed everyone who wanted to help away and he couldn't stand to let it happen again. Conner was a reformed alcoholic. He had his whole life ahead of him. He couldn't watch himself destroy all that he had tried to fix over his heart getting broken two times tonight.

Without a second glance, he got on his feet, stumbling farther towards the rippling ocean water, raising his arm high above him and with all his might, he threw the unopened vodka bottle into the sea.

He didn't need alcohol to realise his doing in life had nothing to do with hearts—his or hers. If it meant he'd be able to get on with life never feeling as he had earlier then he'd do it—even if it meant resorting back to his old womanising ways of never committing to any one relationship.

* * *

**A/N: Disclaimer; I do not own anything recognizable or familiar, such as any famous band I may have mentioned. The song Taylor sings isn't mine either. That belongs to Cheyenne Kimball as titled "Hanging On" **


	11. Forget You

**_I'm out of luck, I'm out of state  
Call on the phone  
Is it too late to talk this over with you?  
They tell me that it's okay to be out of line,  
To make mistakes  
To lie and say, I'll be fine without you_**

Phone Calls From Home, "Forget You"

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

"Hi," Brittany greeted when she approached a group of senior students she'd normally never talk to in the corridor Monday morning. She tossed her golden blonde locks over her shoulder and showed a bright smile, revealing her pearly whites. "Can I steal him for a moment?" she asked, pointing towards Conner.

"Oh, sure, we're done using him. Just give him back to us when you're done." Brittany was unsure of his name though she was certain his was a name you could shorten down. She had remembered Taylor talking about a funny boy with red curly hair before. She, of course, had never really spoken to Conner before now either. Their conversations had always been limited to hello's and goodbyes. She had had no need to talk to him unless Taylor was present. Yet this time was caused for a different reason entirely. The purpose of this conversation was to talk about Taylor.

"Will do," she said not long before she held a hand to his arm, tugging a disenchanted Conner away to a corner between two blocks of metal lockers.

That's when she used her hand to give his arm a soft punch.

"Ow! What was that for?" he asked.

"What are you doing to my friend?" She frowned at him, her mouth forming a straight line. "You know she likes you-a lot. When you and Taylor began going out, I tried not to like you because I thought you'd only take her away from me and that you'd be bad for her. And after everything she went through with Josh and in the summer, she didn't need that kind of turmoil in her life. But then I saw how happy my friend was with you and I convinced myself that maybe you weren't as bad as I thought you were. Then you broke up and as hard as it was to watch her attempt to get over you with many guys I tried to get her to go out with, she is at her most happiest moment when she's with you." Her fist came into contact with his arm again. "So why aren't you trying to win her back?"

Brittany folded her arms over her body, waiting for a reply.

"It isn't that simple."

"Yes it is. Actually, it's very simple. You like Taylor. She likes you. Now you have to do something about it."

"But she made her choice. I'm not going to put my heart on the line to someone who had clearly made up her mind in what she really wants. Maybe I don't want any kind of a relationship anymore. Maybe I've realised that the reason why my relationships don't work is because I'm just not meant to have one."

"OK, so who cares if Taylor chose the tour over you? It doesn't mean she doesn't want to be with you at all. Forget about everything that stands in the way of you and Taylor being together and just go for it. It shouldn't matter if you want to commit to being with somebody who has put the prospect of a renewed relationship aside in order to pursue their dream."

"You know?" Conner asked with tired eyes, tugging onto the strap of his black backpack.

"Of course I know. She is my friend. We tell each other everything. Besides, I may have had to force it out of her over the phone but still, she cares about you. I know that she does because this is Taylor we're talking about. She cannot just stop caring about someone. But you know what; I really don't know why I even have to put myself in the middle of you and Taylor. You should be able to get your act together on your own and clearly I'm not even succeeding so I'm just going to stop trying with you two. I just wish you and Taylor were able to see that you're meant to be together because you're just as stubborn as she is. But my job here is done.

It's now up to you. Later," she signalled him before turning down the hall in the opposite direction.

Andy walked towards Conner, scrunching up his nose. "Why did Taylor's friend want to talk to you?"

But Conner didn't say a word, refusing to give away anything his investigative friend may be able to use against him. "Nothing," he shrugged him off.

Conner began the walk down the south building towards homeroom, all the while knowing Andy wouldn't be following him, insisting he get told why Brittany sussed him out on a busy Monday morning.

* * *

"I don't believe this," Conner said, throwing up his hands in disgust. "Do you realise none of those guys can even play an instrument?"

"They don't need to, man," Evan said, leaning against the swish chocolate-brown cushions of his living-room settee and clasping his hands behind his head. "No one cares whether they can play or not—only how cute they are and how well they can dance."

Conner rolled his eyes. "I just wish they'd play music by someone who can actually play a guitar and is seen playing a guitar in the music video."

"Conner—this is MTV. It's not about talent. It's about image. Evan waved a hand toward the plasma screen TV. "What's your problem anyway? You haven't been yourself lately."

"What do you mean I haven't been myself?"

Evan flexed his muscles over his head, picking up the remote control, changing channels. "Well, of course, you've been yourself in the sense that it's been the old you we've been seeing before you committed to one girl but I mean you haven't been yourself since…"

Evan changed channels again, this time to another music channel about a show all about showcasing rising superstars in the making.

"Her?" Conner asked, pointing at the TV. Evan stared at the screen, immediately catapulted by the image of Taylor, a smile on her face as the cameraman panned to a shot of her singing on stage. She looked so blissful, not at all like the Taylor they all knew of. She was now singing with the lead vocalist of the band she went on tour with.

"Sorry, man, you want me to flick it off?"

"No, it's okay," he said, sinking into Mr. Plummer's La-Z-boy and folding his arms over his chest. "It'll be over soon. And it's not like I'm sitting around missing her. She asked me not to. I'm getting out there meeting new girls." Conner lowered his voice. "Besides, it looks like she's not the only one moving on. Guess she was right when she said she had changed."

Evan followed his own gaze to the tv and then back to Conner, swinging the remote control around in his hand. "How do you know she has moved on?"

Conner looked at Evan as though with a dim witted expression. "Dude, I'm not an idiot. I see the way she's looking at him. She's been gone for a month already-on the road for a month straight. Of course they're gonna be forming a close bond. You'd have to be stupid to not think they're into each other," Conner grumbled.

Evan turned back to the TV, trying to understand the VJ's voice over that went with the video they had of Taylor on tour.

Bingo.

He splayed his hands in front of him. "There you go. It's not what you think after all. They're singing a duet together. So obviously they're looking that way for the fans they're singing to. Anyone could tell you that. They're supposed to look as though they have chemistry together or otherwise it just comes off as fake which is a lot better in comparison to some of the crap they play."

"Or it could be turning into something real off stage too," Conner mumbled under his breath.

It was finally the weekend after enduring a week of hell and his apparent sour mood was evident in the way he moved and spoke. He was no company for anyone lately and the last thing he needed right now was to sit here with his friend and watch some TV presenter talk about how his ex girlfriend was singing love songs with the lead vocalist of a band he no longer wanted to like.

"So tell me about this girl you went out with the other night? Are you planning to see her again?" Evan asked in an attempt to thwart the awkwardness the morning had suddenly taken as they faded off of Taylor and onto another lame music video. He had caught onto his friends bitterness and wanted to try to ease him out of the bad mood he had been suppressed to recently, get back the old Conner he knew still existed deep down inside.

"Not likely. Why you so interested in my love life all of sudden?"

Evan chuckled. "You know me? I've got no girlfriend so I'm living vicariously through you. So tell me why you won't be seeing her again?"

"Oh, that's right. We've gotta find you a girlfriend, my man," Conner conveniently changed the subject, turning the tables on Evan. No way was he about to go into detail about how he's been so out of the loop of the dating world that he's unable up to switch off comparing every other girl he does meet to Taylor. None of them are for him but he

wasn't going to say that to Evan no matter how close friends they were.

"Way to turn the tables on me. What you plan to do about it?" Evan asked suspiciously. "Take me out for a night on the town? We can paint the town red and hit on hot chicks now that we both happen to be single together. We're two single and incredibly attractive teenage men who are in the peak of their lives. Who wouldn't love us?"

Conner cracked the first smile Evan had seen him wear in over a week. "Anyone if you continue to use that word."

"I know, we can be each other's wingman. You down?" Evan leaned forward, resting his left arm on his knees while he held his right fist out towards Conner and at that exact moment, Conner did the same and then bumped fists together.

"I don't know. It was just a suggestion. But I like your idea. I don't want to sit around here our entire winter break. We've already wasted most of it. It's boring and depressing like we have no lives. We're two singles guys who should be living the life not lounging around while I mope over whether or not my ex girlfriend is dating a musician who's better than me. By the way, the fact that I said I'm moping shall never leave this room and if it does, I'll know who to kill. So you're the brain. You come up with good ideas. You got a plan now?"

"We're getting out of here," Evan replied.

"Out of _where_?" Conner asked suspiciously.

"Out of Sweet Valley. We both need to put some distance between us and this town-at least for a little while. Go somewhere where people don't know our names. What do you say? You in?"

"Hell yeah, I'm in. Where you wanna go?" Both guys hadn't been having much luck lately, especially when it came to relationships.

The phone began to ring and Evan leaned across the sofa, reaching for the portable phone.

He picked up and said hello into the receiver.

"Hi, Evan?"

"Yep," Evan responded. He frowned, wondering who could be calling him. The voice wasn't familiar at all.

"This is Jeremy. Jeremy _Aames_. Jessica's boyfriend."

"Oh—hey, man. How's it going?"

Conner nodded his head toward the phone, silently asking who it was but Evan ignored him. Why would Jeremy be calling him? They weren't friends. He didn't even know the guy that well other than being Jessica's boyfriend. Oh, shit! Was something wrong with Jessica? Did she have an untreatable disease?

"Um, I know this is going to sound kind of strange—since we've never hung out but…"

The silence was conspicuous and Evan could practically sense Jeremy's discomposure through the phone. "That's okay—I'm used to strange. You should see the people I call my friends," Evan joked, but scored Conner tossing a cushion in his direction. He didn't know Jeremy that well but he'd heard enough from Jessica—and Jade, for that matter—to know he was a good guy. "So what's up?"

"I don't know how much Jessica has told you about me but the rest of my family just moved to Arizona."

"Yeah, Jessica mentioned that—but you're finishing out the year here, right?"

"Right, except I was hoping to drive out and help them get settled this week, which is why I'm calling."

Evan was still baffled and obviously Conner was too. He was looking over at Evan with his face in full glower form.

"I need someone to make the drive with me and when I mentioned it to Jessica; she said she thought you might be up for a road trip."

At the sound of the words _road trip_, Evan's entire face lit up, causing Conner's frown to intensify even further.

"Yeah, well, Jessica was right," he said enthusiastically. He got up and started pacing across the room. "I'm definitely up for it—what's the plan? I mean, when do you want to leave?"

"Uh—don't you need to ask your parents or something?" Jeremy asked, his tone of voice vigilant.

"They'll be cool with it."

"Oh, okay. Well, then, I guess we leave Monday morning. I was thinking around eight-thirty?"

"Sounds good," Evan said, feeling the grin on his face spread through his entire body. A road trip was exactly what he needed. He glanced over at Conner who had reclined in the La-Z-boy and closed his eyes. Conner needed a road trip to get out of town as well.

"Hey," Evan said, suddenly struck by an idea. "How about one more person? You know—to split the driving and help pay for gas?" Conner's eyes immediately popped open and he looked over at Evan, whispering what he was on about.

"Um, yeah, I guess so. You got somebody in mind?" Jeremy questioned with uncertainty.

"Actually I do. Conner and I will meet you here Monday morning at eight-thirty."

Conner got to his feet and moved closer to Evan. He was scrutinizing his friend now, eager to know what his friend had signed him up for so early in the morning. It was winter break. He should be making the most of his morning sleep-ins while he got the chance. Instead, he was unwillingly forced into something he'd probably regret knowing.

Evan's smile grew wider. He knew his friend would be psyched once he understood what was going on. He had said it himself. He, too, wanted to get out of this town for a while. He'd thank him in the long run.

"Did you say Conner?" Jeremy asked, drawing his words out slowly and cautiously.

"Uh-huh—do you know him?"

"Only through Jessica," Jeremy said and all of a sudden, Evan realised where his uncertainty came from.

"Don't believe everything Jessica says about him," Evan chuckled. "He's really a nice guy once you get to know him."

Conner sneered, clearly annoyed about being talked about. He merely rolled his eyes and flopped back into his chair, folding his arms over his chest, his intense hazel eyes gnawing into Evan's skull.

"All right so I'll pick you up Monday morning at…"

The two stayed on the phone for a while longer, just enough to give Jeremy the address he and Conner would be waiting at on Monday morning. Then once he ended the phone call, hanging up the phone and placing it back onto the cradle next to him, he was met with an irritated Conner, his eyes piercing into him like daggers.

If looks could kill, there'd be a dozen people dead on account of Conner and his wayward glances.

"Do you have something to tell me?" Conner snapped.

"Yes, we're going on a road trip," Evan said, patting his friend's shoulder.

"We're _what_?"

"_Road trip_," Evan pronounced slowly. He ducked into the hallway and pulled a big duffel bag out of the storage closet. "With Jeremy Aames—Jessica's boyfriend," he said as he re-entered the living room. Conner gave him a blank look. "You know—tall guy, short black hair—he goes to Big Mesa, works at House of Java? Football player—really clean cut?"

"Oh, just what we need—some other guy who isn't single. He's got a girlfriend and will no doubt be talking about her the whole trip. I don't get why we're going. We don't even know him that well," Conner whined.

"He's driving out to see his family in Arizona and we're going with him."

"Why?"

"It's simple. He invited me, I invited you. Besides, you said it yourself. You're looking for an opportunity to get out of Sweet Valley for a little bit. This is the perfect way to do it."

"What, tagging along on someone else's road trip? Yeah, it's just perfect." Conner sneered.

"Cheer up, man. It is perfect. There's nothing like a little road trip to clear your head—free your mind so you can return home and attack things from a fresh perspective. How could you possibly pass on this?"

Conner exhaled deeply. "Even if I said yes, there's no way my mother would let me go. Not after everything else I've been through this year. She'd freak."  
Evan nodded, remembering what it had been like to watch his friend lose control. But Conner had been to rehab and he was taking care of himself now. He hadn't even seen him try to taste a drop of alcohol at all in recent weeks when he guessed he had probably craved it more than ever. The only thing currently weighing down his mind was the fact that he couldn't get a grip on his love life. His ex girlfriend had run off to go on tour the first chance she got. But that was another story.

"I'll talk to your mother," Evan offered. "I'll convince her that this would be good for you to get your mind off of a certain girl who broke your heart. Your Mom loves me."

Conner scoffed. "Yeah, she thinks you're really mature and responsible, but okay, if you think it's going to do some good, then talk to her. Though I highly doubt she'll even listen to you."

"Does that mean you're in?"

"Provided you can convince my mother of how responsible we'll be on this little road trip, it's a yes."

"Yes!" Evan exclaimed, grabbing a pair of sneakers and stuffing them into his duffel bag. "This is going to be so sweet—a chance to let loose and go wild."

Evan grinned at his friend and Conner actually cracked a small smile.

"Just don't use that argument with my mother. I don't think she'd be very impressed if she heard the words loose and wild escape your mouth."

"Deal," Evan reassured him. "But it's still going to be fun."

Conner silently agreed. Who knows, maybe this was exactly what he needed to get his mind off of all things Taylor.

* * *

Monday morning after enduring many lucid dreams of how a road trip with two people he rarely knew could go; he pulled up next to the curb outside Evan's house and sighed, instantly noticing the two of them ready and waiting already. Evan was playing hacky sack while Conner stood appraised, one hand tucked into the front pocket of his faded jeans and the other wrapped around a cardboard mug of coffee.

As Jeremy stepped out of the car, Conner stepped forward.

"Nice car," he murmured, running his hands along the hood of Jeremy's Mercedes.

"It used to be." Jeremy raked a hand through his thick black hair.

"What do ya' mean, _used to be_?" Conner asked, walking around to the driver's side.

"Just that it's my Dad's old—"

"Sixty-five SEL," Conner mumbled, opening the car door and getting in the driver's side door.

"—car," Jeremy finished. He looked over at Evan who simply shook his head.

"Don't mind Conner. His head hasn't been with us ever since he confessed his love to a girl for the first time and she turned him down. Oh, he also lacks social grace which is probably why his ex girlfriend dumped him," Evan explained. He knew he shouldn't be cracking jokes at his friend's saddest expense but he had to admit it was a little funny. "Conner! Hey, don't you think you should say hello first?"

Conner glanced over his shoulder at them. "Oh, yeah, right." He waved toward Jeremy and nodded. "How's it going?"

Jeremy returned a forced smile to show politeness but his first impression was that Jessica had been right. The guy was an arrogant ass.

Jeremy cleared his throat and insisted they get going, popping the trunk of the car to put their duffels in just as Conner stepped out of the car to help.

Then within a matter of minutes, they were on the road.

* * *

"Oh, man, that felt good," Jeremy said, almost eight hours after their road trip began. He stretched his arms over his head, breathing in the fresh streaming through his partially open window as he surveyed the stunning landscape passing around him. The sun had all but gone, its last rays keeping the deep blue sky from turning completely dark.

"Welcome back, man," Evan said with a smile, turning to look at him before directing his attention back to the road.

Jeremy mumbled thanks as he dropped his chin to his chest, rolling his head from side to side.

"How long was I out for?" Jeremy asked, reaching for his cell phone on the dashboard. His LCD screen lit up, showing the time. "Whoa—I was asleep for almost four hours."

"Yeah, you and Conner both," Evan nodded toward the back seat.

Jeremy glanced back at Conner, catching him as he was writing away into a notebook, slouched against the driver's side door, his long legs resting across the seat. He didn't make eye contact. Clearly he wasn't in the mood to talk anymore than he had been all day. What was his deal anyway? Plenty of guys had had their heart broken before. He wasn't the only one.

He turned back to the road in front, asking where they were.

"Funny story actually…" Evan began, his eyes concentrating on the road ahead.

Jeremy notices a sign reading 'The Mojave Desert' passes them by.

"It's strange we're seeing a sign for The Mojave Desert. You'd think that would be in the opposite direction."

"Yeah, about that…" Evan said, his hands forming a tighter grip of the steering wheel. Conner leaned forward, suddenly taking an interest in the conversation for the first time all day. "We're not near Tucson? Then where are we?"

"Las Vegas or there about," Evan said with a wide smile.

"Vegas? Are you kidding?" Jeremy broke out.

"Yeah, Vegas, man," Evan said, slapping the steering wheel a few times. "It's going to be cool. We can walk the strip, check out the casinos and just chill out and have fun."

"We're not going," Jeremy tried to take a stance.

"What do you mean we're not going? I mean, you can try and get us back to Tucson tonight but we'll never make it there until early tomorrow morning. It's your choice."

Conner shook his head, going back to his notebook as though Jeremy was some guy who was bothering him and not the guy whose car he was in and whose road trip he was helping to screw up.

"Hey, man, chill," Evan said. "It's not that big a deal."

"Not a big deal?" Jeremy shot back. "You decide to hijack my car and head for Vegas when I'm supposed to be out in Arizona helping my family to settle into their new home and it's not a big deal?"

"Is there anything in your life that _isn't_ a big deal?" Conner asked. Jeremy whirled around to face him, but he hadn't bothered to look up from his writing. What on earth did he keep jotting down in that thing anyway?

He returned his focus to the front when Evan began giving him a speech about how they were seventeen year old guys on a road trip craving excitement in their life. Then there were Vegas with its bright lights, casinos, Elvis impersonators, wedding chapels and the strip. According to Evan, it was a fantasy land—for adults. Evan said there would definitely be a story to tell afterwards but Jeremy already had a story to tell.

He still wasn't one hundred percent certain they should be doing this, but after a moment of pondering the map, realising they'd be to make the drive to Tucson tomorrow and still be there in time for dinner, he finally gave to Evan. "Okay, Vegas it is." He just hoped his decision wouldn't come back to haunt him.

* * *

Upon their arrival, both Jeremy and Evan seemed amazed when faced with the assortment or coloured lights as Conner, now sitting behind the wheel, drove toward the strip, taking directions from Evan.

"Tropicana Avenue," Conner read the street sign aloud as he clicked on his blinker to signal before turning down the street. "Man, even the street names sound fake."

Evan voiced his excitement over the whole thing as they drove to the end of the strip, while Jeremy noted how he wanted to get to the hotel to call it a night ahead of another long drive they'd face tomorrow morning but not before he called his parents to check in with them. He could have sworn he saw Conner roll his eyes at his suggestion but he chose to ignore him.

Conner turned into a huge, curvy white building with lots of palm trees out front, pulling the Mercedes into a parking space.

Once they were in the lobby of the hotel lobby, Jeremy felt himself begin to relax. This place was obviously expensive but not too over the top.

As they approached the customer service desk, Jeremy stepped forward a bit, taking the lead. "Hi. We'd like a room, please," he said, gesturing to himself, Conner and Evan.

"I see," a blonde woman in a white blouse said, smiling politely. She glanced at all three of them but her eyes lingered on Evan longest. She was clearly put off by his dishevelled appearance—a Pearl Jam t-shirt that had seen better days and shoulder-length black hair that was in full shag mode from being blown around in the car all day. But at least she didn't question their age. Obviously they all looked old enough to be there on their own.

She tapped a compute keyboard lightly with her long, pink fingernails. "We do have a few rooms with two queen-size beds available," she told Jeremy. "Will you need a cot?"

"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks," Jeremy said back to her.

But once they had heard the price of how much one room would cost, they had been forced to turn around in search for a more reasonable hotel they'd be able to afford. Finally after the third hotel, they had found one that fit their budget and filled out the paperwork before they were given their room key.

When the receptionist finished rattling off the instructions she'd obviously given countless times before, she turned and retreated back into the office. On the way to their room, the red carpeted hallway was flecked with bits of yellow that had probably been brighter and a bit more golden about ten years ago but it was still relatively clean. Not spotless but passable, especially for three teenagers who were just passing through. When they reached their room number, they walked in to reveal a fairly small room with two double beds, a narrow bureau with a television and a large window flanked by red and gold curtains that matched the bedspreads. The cot they'd asked for was supposed to arrive later.

Evan's peppy mood returned as he flopped down on a bed to relax for a little bit while Conner began opening drawers and checking out the bathroom but Jeremy had just one thing on his mind-to get in touch with his family. After pulling out the piece of paper with his relatives address scrawled across it and following the instructions to use the phone, he dialled the number and let it ring though until he got no answer. Jeremy began thinking the worst had happened until Evan had suggested they had probably gone out to dinner. And of course it seemed like a more logical explanation but Jeremy couldn't stop worrying or beating himself up for going along with Evan and continuing north rather than turn around and go back in the direction of Tucson. For one instant moment he'd been tempted at the idea of seeing Las Vegas but deep down he'd known this whole Las Vegas trip was a big mistake and he should have listened to himself.

* * *

After a while they had ended up at a quaint little cafe resembling a fifties diner until Evan decided to make small talk with Laney, a girl they had met there who had insisted she take Evan on a guided tour through the town she called home. She had offered Conner and Jeremy too but both had declined the offer, opting to do their own thing instead. Jeremy had said he'd retreat back to the hotel early and callit a night while Conner figured he'd go exploring on his own for a while-but maybe that hadn't been such a good idea after all. After aimlessly walking up and down the street, Conner couldn't believe how many bars he had found already. The place was loaded with them apparently.

He was supposedly looking at antique and classic cars after reading a sign a while back when he was still walking the streets but so far all he had come up with was how many bars he could find. Although the whole trip to Las Vegas was so far proving to be a distraction from what had been consuming most of his thoughts since he said good bye to Taylor. She was all he could think about for some time. Although if he didn't find what he wad looking for, he'd probably resort to going back to the diner and enduring yet another long and painful conversation with Jeremy.

Conner headed back down a winding staircase through a narrow hallway and up another staircase that appeared to lead to a balcony. When he reached the landing at the top, he almost laughed out loud. This had to be some kind of joke right? It was another lounge-only this one was practically deserted. He had started to turn around when someone

called out to him.

"Hey-you look like you could use a drink. What'll it be?" Conner sent a scowl the bar tender's way and stared at her. She was a slender, thirtyish woman with long, brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and way too much eye make-up.

He was about to tell her, "Thanks but no thanks," when a bottle just behind her caught his eye. It was Stolichnaya vodka and had been his favourite back when he was still drinking. That drink had been responsible for his stint in rehab and for losing control of his relationship with Taylor.

Just looking at the label, he felt like he could taste it-feel the warmth of it sliding down his throat. They'd always made a big deal in rehab about how just one drink could send you right back into the downward spiral and it had made sense to Conner. But now he wasn't so sure. This wasn't like one of those other times. He was in control now. He wasn't some sloppy drunk anymore. He could handle himself. He took a step closer to the bar, imagining the glass in his hand. The desire was intense. He couldn't turn away like the other time at the beach when he had. Last time he had been strong. It hadn't been as easy. Besides, how much could one drink hurt him?

Meanwhile, Evan had been having an incredible amount of fun with Laney as they went on many of the rides she had dragged him to. He only wished this night would never end. And probably not for a while yet when she insisted they go to a show.

* * *

"What's got you so glum? You should be on top of the world."

Surprised by someone talking to him, he turned his head and saw a pretty blonde walking his way.

"Why? Because I'm in Las Vegas?"

She laughed in return, pulling up a chair beside him. "Actually I was gonna say because I'm here now. But now that you mention yet, yes you should be smiling because of where you're sitting. Lemme guess, girlfriend trouble?"

On that note, Conner grunted, giving her an answer.

"Or maybe we just won't talk about it if you don't wanna. The choice is yours but just so you know I've been told that I am an excellent listener if you ever do decide to change your mind and you'd like an opinion from a female's perspective or you just want to vent."

Conner picked up the drink toaster along the side of the bar, flipping it over. "I'll keep that in mind."

A couple of minutes later, the girl hailed the bar tender over and a drink was offered in front of him.

"For you," she said. "On the house of course. You just look like you could use a drink."

"Um, thanks, but..."

"But you don't drink. I am so sorry. I always jump into things without considering the consequences. But that's just me. I should have realised that maybe you'd be the type of guy that didn't drink."

She pushed the drink away, giving it back to the bar tender.

Conner gave her a small smile in an attempt to calm her nerves down.

"Then again I am sitting at a bar in the middle of Vegas. It's only natural that you'd assume I'd be drinking but it's cool. It's not a big deal. I wouldn't have had it anyway."

The tension she was feeling fell down around her shoulders in a soothing way.

"That's good that you're taking the initiative. So how long you been sober for?" she asked, taking an interest in him and Conner was surprised when she had worked out his problem all on her own without so much as to a question to farther instate her curiosity.

"Uh..." he stumbled on his words. "Two months."

If only she had shown up minutes before then she would have seen him almost take a downfall for the very first time.

His attention finally fell on her for the first time since she sat down beside him. And he realised that this girl wasn't just pretty. She was gorgeous. Why hadn't he paid closer attention when she first sat down beside him? He would have given her a second look. If he looked closely, he could see that her eyes were that of a shade of dark blue. Her skin wasn't pasty but it also wasn't so tanned she came out looking orange. She wasn't huge or thin but slender enough to still be called slim and she looked to be in her early twenties. She reached for his drink, but before she drank it, she said, "Do you mind? Can't let a perfectly good gin and tonic go to waste now can we?"

And when she had her answer, she swiftly took it, bringing it to her mouth and swallowing every last drop in one fine gulp. Conner figured she had done that many times before.

She dropped the empty glass onto the bench then signalled the bartender for another along with a club soda for Conner. She figured if he couldn't drink then she'd try to talk to him while he was sober anyway.

Strangely enough, Evan then appeared out of no where. His deep voice echoed through the bar as he spoke.

"Dude, we're going to a concert. You wanna come?" he asked Conner without jumping to any kind of conclusion that maybe his friends had done the unthinkable and relapsed. Evan figured his friend deserved the benefit of the doubt. He figured Conner knew better this time than to allow the drink to take over his life in a way that would have him spiralling out of control.

Conner pulled his attention away from the girl for a moment to find the person whose voice he heard and shook his head curtly.

"Nah, I think I'm just going to stay here with…" He stops mid sentence and looks back at the girl next to him, not knowing her name.

She clears her throat then tells him "Ashley."

"With Ashley," Conner finished.

Evan only shrugged his shoulders, flipping his black shaggy hair out of his eyes as he turned to walk away, looking over his shoulder just once to give his attention toward Conner and Ashley, wondering if his friend was _into_ her.

"So," Ashley said, sliding her empty glass farther away. "You wanna get of here and do something?"

Conner raised an eyebrow with curiosity. He had only been in the city of bright lights for a couple of minutes and he was already being asked out by a hot girl. He guessed he still had the kind of affect he had on the opposite as he used to before his heart belonged to one girl. "Maybe—what you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking we could continue our little conversation back at my place. Maybe you'll feel more inclined to open up to me if we get to know each other a little better. What d'ya say? I know you want you to. You never know, my opinion might be what you needed all along." She pressed him.

Conner was speechless at the fact that she had just invited an almost stranger back to her place.

But Conner did something that was out of the ordinary these days—he said yes. Who knows, maybe she was right. Maybe Ashley was what his life needed all along—to get over Taylor once and for all.

* * *

"Wow, I am utterly speechless at that girl on stage. She was totally awesome. Her performance, her voice was powerhouse," Laney said as she and Evan made their way out of the arena after the concert finished.

"Yeah, she was something," Evan murmured to himself. Amid the crowd of people weaving around them, he stopped and turned to Laney. "You mean she's never performed here before?"

Laney shook her head, raking a hand through her long tousled brown hair. "No. Apparently, she's a rising star so my friend told me who saw her perform in New York City and insisted I go see her in concert and I guess Cameron was right because she's awesome. So you wanna go grab something to eat? I'm famished." She patted her stomach through the long sleeved blue t-shirt she was wearing.

"Actually, you're gonna hate me for doing this to you after such a great night—"

"But you're ditching me, right?" Laney finished.

"Yeah," Evan said, looking down at the ground. "There's just somewhere else I got to be right now."

Laney nudged his shoulder, showing a big smile. "Hey, it's okay. I get it. Do whatever you have to do. But, um, next time, you're in Vegas, give me a call. We'll hang out." She programmed her name and number into his cell phone then handed it back to him.

Five or so minutes after he bid au revoir to Laney, he stood out in the foyer next to two big black doors reading _private use only_, assuming this was the place where each musician entered to and from the stage and waited. He slouched back in a metal chair until he saw the doors open up and someone emerge in all her glorious beauty, dark brown hair flowing down her back, and Evan realised this was the reason why his friend was unable to get his ex girlfriend off his mind.

Then Evan rose to his feet, standing tall as her big blue-green eyes instantly fell on his face in a surprising way, but she didn't say a word. Instead, she left that to him.

"Hello, Taylor."

* * *

**A/N: So part of this chapter were excerpts from book #32 since the story fit in with the storyline I'm writing, yet I didn't feel the need to include everything that happens, just the important information to tie in and set up where I was taking the story. Everything that happens at this point in book #32 with every other character except for Tia and Trent, happens. **


	12. Letting Go

**_Here's to you, for leaving me behind  
When all i do is live to make you mine  
if you promise that you're happy and better off alone,  
I'll never stop loving you, it's time I let you go_**

Sing It Loud, "Letting Go"

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

"Evan."

At the sight of her friend, she lit up in a slight smile although she was also surprised as to why he was even here.

They came together in a hug as Evan lifted her up from the ground into his arms and spun her around before gently placing her feet back down.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, observing him closely. Still caught in his embrace, she laid her hands on his broad shoulders.

"Well, Jeremy needed someone to help make the drive to Arizona to help his family move so we offered and I guess we made a slight detour to Vegas," Evan explained.

"We?" Taylor asked sceptically. Who was the other person in the equation?

"Yeah, we—I managed to convince Conner to join us on the road trip too."

"Conner's here?" Taylor asked.

Evan shook his head. "Well, no he's not here with me. He doesn't know you're in Vegas. But that's the thing…"

Evan gently took Taylor by her hand and pulled her aside to an empty table and chair belonging to a quaint little café.

"Okay," Taylor said with uncertainty. "What's up?"

Evan didn't know how to say what he had needed to say to her so he was simply going to tell it as it was.

Evan drew in a deep breath. "You need to come home. Conner needs you. Maybe more than he even realises."

"Did he say that he misses me?"

"Well, no, not in those exact words. But you know Conner. He'll never admit his true feelings to anyone. He'd rather leave us guessing. But it's all over his face. He's hurt and he misses you because he wants you. Why do you think Alanna broke up with him?"

Taylor raised her eyebrows. "She did?"

Evan nodded his head. "You didn't know?" Taylor remained tight lipped, gently shaking her head. "Apparently she sensed that he wasn't quite over you—that he was still in love with you."

It was too much to take in. When Taylor decided to go on tour, she hadn't expected to find a confrontation in the form of one of Conner's best friends regarding her ex boyfriend's feelings for her. She just couldn't deal with this kind of confusion right now. She needed time out which then came in the form of her iPhone vibrating through the small pocket of her black skinny-leg jeans and pulled it out just enough to be able to see Kayla, her manager, popping across the screen, indicating she had a new text message, no doubt asking where she was when she should be back in her hotel room trying to get some shut eye so that she would be wide awake and ready to shoot the music video for her debut single tomorrow.

"You OK?" Evan asked, noticing her sudden change in expression.

Taylor gave a small smile and a shrug. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Taylor didn't want to get off topic.

"What...what are you trying to say? That you want me to come home for Conner?"

"Look, I know I have no right to ask you to give up an opportunity as huge as the one you're living right now but all I'm asking is that you at least consider it-for Conner. He loves you. I know he does. You're the first girl he's ever allowed himself to fall in love with and actually put his heart on the line for."

Evan gave Taylor much to ponder about and now his job here was done. Evan got on his feet, rubbing his hands up and down his jeans. "Well, I should be going."

"Um, yeah, okay," Taylor said slowly. "I should be back at my hotel  
room anyway. I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. But I'm sorry I can't give you the answer you would have liked. At least not right now anyway."

"So, um, will you think about what I said?" he asked her, this time with a little more urgency.

"Um," she began, as though she was pondering over an answer like she wasn't one hundred percent certain she'd be coming back once her obligations were finished. "Yes, I'll consider it. But even if I do come home, it may not change the situation."

Evan knew what she was talking about. If she did come back, there was a slight chance they wouldn't get their relationship back on track.

"I know that but at least you'll be home."

Where you belong...

* * *

"Wow, so this is where you live, huh?" Conner whistled as he took in the breathtaking view of Vegas that could be seen from the window of Ashley's luscious penthouse apartment.

"I know, the view is gorgeous, right. It's one of the perks of having your father own a hotel chain." Ashley cooed.

"You mean your father owns this hotel?"

Ashley waved an arm in the air like the situation was no big deal. "Yeah, just don't too far as to call me some kind of heiress because I'm not. Well I don't like to think of myself as an heiress anyway. I do have a job that has my dad had nothing to do with."

She sat down on the deep red couch, crossing her legs up underneath her and signaled Conner over to her, patting the sofa next to her.

"Come sit. So lemme' get this straight. You and Taylor?" Ashley looked over at Conner as he sat down as though she was double checking she had gotten his ex girlfriend's name correct.

When he nodded, Ashley continued.

"You get together then broke up so that you can put all your focus into your recovery from your alcohol addiction then you meet Alanna during your stint in rehab and she finally breaks up with you when she realises you're not quite over Taylor. So then you decide to confess your true feelings for Taylor but she turns you down and goes on tour instead. Damn, your life really is complicated."

Conner usually had a hard time opening up to people but when he began telling Ashley all about his problems, he couldn't seen to stop himself. The words just flew out of him like he had no control over his own choice of conversation.

"You don't know the half of it," Conner sighed, flexing his arms out in front. "You know, I remember there being a time when life was actually easy for me. I'd wake up in the morning and my life would be a breeze. I didn't even have to fight feelings of despair towards an ex girlfriend I can't seem to get over because I didn't even commit to any kind of relationship back then."

Ashley turned into Conner. "Was this before Taylor?"

Conner nodded his head in reply.

Ashley ran a hand through her hair before she let it rest against her kneed which she had brought to her body.

"So maybe the universe is trying to tell you something that you haven't already figured out on your own."

"Like what? Is it telling me that I'm not meant to be in any kind of romantic relationship that will last for longer than two weeks?"

"You mean you never dated any girl for longer than two weeks?"

"Well, I mean until Taylor I didn't."

Ashley stared into a blank tv screen. "Whoa, that's some major improvement but no," she began, turning back to Conner and showing a slight twinkle in her eyes. "Actually I was going to say maybe the universe is trying to tell you that you're simply not supposed to be together and the music tour, rehab, the girl you met in rehab and even the guy Taylor is on tour with is God's way of making you see that you are both better off in the long run if you're not a couple. But then again if you really want to be with this girl then I suppose you shouldn't allow the universe's obstacles to stand in the way and stop you from being together. But I don't think that the hang up you clearly still have for your ex girlfriend should stop you from having a little fun while you're in Las Vegas. You're young. You shouldn't be tied down to just one girl if you don't want to be."

Ashley couldn't be anymore obvious. Conner wasn't blind. She was beautiful and expressing an interest in him. What harm would he be doing if he gave into her flirtations? She was the kind of girl you didn't miss out on the opportunity of spending time with, even if you weren't looking-much like Taylor.

"So what's it gonna be?" Ashley purred, her body leaning closer into Conner. "Are you up for a little fun with me?"

His face was inches from hers but he didn't pull back, almost tasting the sweet scent of perfume she wore.

He gave her a slight smirk. "Well, what did you have in mind?" he asked, blinded by curiosity.

And without a single word being uttered, he had his answer when Ashley brushed her plump lips against his, giving him a slow and tantalizing kiss in the kind of way which she knew would leave him wanting more.

Afterwards, she put a little bit of distance between them, awaiting his response as she watched him lick his lips, tasting the after effect of her cherry red lip gloss.

Then his arm fell to her hip as he attempted to pull her closer toward him so that she could show him all the fun she had in mind tonight. And he had a feeling her kind of fun was exactly what would make him forget all about his past attachments to a four letter word he wished had never entered his vocabulary.

* * *

"Well someone looks like they had a great night. What you get up to?" Evan asked the moment he saw Conner come around the corner toward the motel room they were staying in as Evan slipped the key into the key hole and waited to hear all about what his friend got up to. After the way his night had ended, Evan was somewhat curious to know whether Conner was really over Taylor or not.

Conner seemed perplexed with his expression showing little to nothing except for a smile which was more than Evan had seen from his broody friend all day.

"Oh, you know. This and that." Conner's decision to not elaborate only aroused Evan's growing curiosity even more.

"Which means," Evan waved his hand in Conner's face, determined to get the scoop one way or another. "Did you...?"

The door swung open and Conner ducked in, briefly noticing a sleeping body sprawled out on the portable cot.

Jeremy had obviously decided to make it an early night.

Conner almost forgot what he and Evan were talking about a moment ago until he turned around to see his friend anxiously awaiting to hear a response. But Conner wasn't prepared to dish on every little detail that happened tonight between himself and Ashley to Evan. He had to be discreet at some point. Then again, he also understood why Evan would ask a question as inappropriate as the one he had asked. Evan was merely inquiring as to whether or not he did the deed with a girl he had known for all of four hours.

"Well...no we didn't exactly go there but she's definitely a good listener and kisser. I guess I had been wrong to say a road trip would be a complete bust. Perhaps it had been a good idea after all." Conner peeled off his leather jacket, dumping it on the bed he had earlier claimed as his own. "So how did your night go? How was the concert? Good band?"

"Oh, yeah, it was definitely something alright."

"Oh, yeah? Something I would be into?"

Evan had wanted to tell him that he'd be into it quite literally but instead, he said, "Probably not. It wasn't really your kind of music."

Conner headed towards the bathroom then looked back at Evan, running a hand through his hair. "Well, I'm gonna take a quick shower before I hit the sack. You didn't want one did you?"

"No, you go ahead, man. I'll grab one in the morning."

Then when Conner disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door, Evan kicked off his shoes and threw himself down onto the bed he was sleeping in. He inhaled a deep breath, folding his arms behind his head and couldn't help but think his idea of getting away to clear their minds had worked just a little bit too well.

* * *

The following morning just as the sun was beginning to rise for the day, Conner, Jeremy and Evan were packing up the car ahead of another long day of driving. Just as Evan was loading his luggage into the trunk of Jeremy's car, he felt his phone vibrate within his jeans pocket and figured he had a new text message. Evan pulled the small black device out of his pocket and glanced down at the LCD screen, seeing Taylor's name scrawled across the screen above the message. Then he pressed a button on the keyboard to access the message.

His eyes skimmed the message reading, 'I've mulled over your question all night going over the pros and cons but at this point in time, I just can't back away from the tour and come home. It's just something that doesn't make sense right now. It's better if I stay away. I'm sorry.'

And this time Evan knew she really was apologetic for her answer to his question.

"You ready to go man?" Evan was shaken out of his thoughts when Conner spoke to him.

Evan gave a quick reply of the word yes, his black bangs falling across his forehead when he nodded his head while his finger hovered over the delete button, pondering whether he should allow the message to exist in his inbox or not. But he decided he'd not take a risk of any opportunity that Conner may have to see his phone, and in particular his message inbox. He didn't need to give Conner the satisfaction of getting his hopes up in the off chance that Taylor will come back and then have it whipped out from underneath him once again and deleted the message, ceasing all knowledge of ever knowing he had seen Taylor this weekend.

Evan swiftly flipped his phone shut replacing it back into his pocket as he gripped both hands onto the trunk and slammed it down with little force then climbed into the passenger seat, showing a smile and drumming his fingers against the car door. Five minutes later, they were on the road and Evan tried to remember that saying he had heard one or two times before about what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. However Evan shuddered at the thought that just maybe what happened in Vegas wouldn't necessarily stay in Vegas or stay a secret for very long.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the distance not far from the parking lot outside a dingy motel stood Taylor, dark sunglasses covering her eyes, hair wind swept around her face as she quietly watched on at the sight of her ex boyfriend all happy and moving on without her. And despite the pain she felt every time she thought of Conner moving on and leaving her behind, she knew she had done the right thing and made the right decision even if sometimes it hurt like hell. She just needed to convince herself that they would all be better off in the long run—or so she hoped.


	13. Superstar

**Chapter Twelve**

_The city scenes somethin' from a magazine  
Bright Lights  
Fast Cars  
Movie Stars and V.I.P.  
I__'__m treated like a QUEEN  
They all cater to me  
I get whatever whenever however it's up to me_

Alexandra Amor, "Superstar"

Winter break was here and soon enough Taylor was beginning to miss her home in Southern California. And as much as she enjoyed the life of a rock star on tour, she also began to yearn for her old one back in Sweet Valley-her friends, her family and also Conner.

And so when the opportunity came to choose the place she would showcase her very first single to the world or just to anyone who was a fan after it was announced that she had been signed to a major record label following her roaring success on tour with Boys Like Girls, Sweet Valley had been the only town on her mind. She couldn't think of singing anywhere else other than the place she started at-the place she found fame at.

This was it—her time to shine and where she'd be able to show her true talent to the people who mattered most to her.

Taylor was coming home for Christmas. She couldn't imagine being away from her family on Christmas Day. She walked through the door of her parent's house to the aroma of freshly baked cookies waffling throughout the house. Yep, it was definitely Christmas. Her mother was baking delicious goodies in the kitchen. She hoped to at least be greeted by somebody in her family. Usually when she came home from a trip alone, no one was here to welcome her and as of right now, all she wanted was to be in the comfort of her loving family despite her younger brothers sometimes being a pain in the butt.

"Mom? Dad?" Taylor called out, dropping her bag on wheels on the marble tiled floor. "Jake? Sean? Matthew?" Taylor proceeded with her brother's names when she got no answer. Although she could smell fresh cookies, it appeared no one was home. Damn! This was not happening again. Where were her parents?

Then her cell phone buzzed in her jeans pocket. Her mother was calling her from her work number.

"Hello?" Taylor answered.

"Taylor? It's Mom. I wanted to be at home when you got there but the hospital called me at the last minute asking me to come in for a shift. But there are some cookies for you to eat keeping warm in the oven that Grandma has made especially for your homecoming. And your father and I will see you tonight after work. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom." The phone clicked off simultaneously.

Taylor sighed, walking towards the large spacious kitchen and opened the stainless steel oven door, pulling out a tray containing twenty four chocolate chip cookies. Taylor picked two off the tray, biting into one as she placed the remaining cookies back into the oven. Taylor drew in a deep breath, and then slipped her phone out of her pocket, punching in a quick message to Melissa. Two minutes later, her phone rang back in the sound of a wind chime. She would be there in five minutes. Exactly five minutes later; there was a knock on the front door followed by the sound of a door chime. Taylor pressed the button to the intercom and spoke into it, saying ''Come in.'' Taylor pressed another button beside the intercom that unlocked the front door.

''Hello? Taylor?'' she heard Melissa's voice. Taylor crept around the corner of the kitchen towards the walk way into the foyer and her eyes lit up when she saw Melissa and Will walking towards her.

"Liss!" Taylor screeched, embracing her cousin with a hug.

Once a round of hugs was out of the way, Melissa took Taylor by the hand and dragged her to the kitchen table.

''So I want to hear your stories from the tour. Give me the 411 on any gossip. What was it like?''

Taylor drew in a deep breath and giggled. ''There's not much to tell. When I was on the bus, I was usually sleeping or catching up on school work and when I was on stage, I was singing. I really don't have much to say at all. I really didn't do all that much partying.''

Melissa sighed with a frown. ''Well you're no fun. I was expecting something more interesting. But anyway I am really looking forward to hearing you sing tonight. It should be a good night.''

''Uh, yeah, about tonight...''

''Yes? What about it?''

''You haven't told anyone that I'll be singing let alone home have you?''

''And by anyone, you mean Conner? No I haven't said anything to him even though I strongly suggested he know. He ought to know you're home for a little while. He would want to know.''

"And I strongly regard your suggestion but it's got nothing to do with Conner. I simply want to surprise all my friends.''

"Well you're certainly going to do that. They'll definitely be surprised.''

* * *

Ten minutes before Taylor was due to take to the stage performing her debut single for the very first time, she sat in one of the back rooms of the riot and waited to be called upon, inhaling and then exhaling a couple dozen of breaths. She could do this. She could go out there and sing even if half the floor was occupied by people she knew-people she went to school with and people she called her friends. Yeah, Taylor was fine.

She would just need to keep telling herself that until she walked out onto the stage, standing beneath the bright white light. And in an instant, her name was called. It was time to face the music. Taylor rose to her feet, teetering on her three inch gladiator heels and pulling down on the little black dress she was wearing. Then she strode out of the room with sheer confidence, picking up the sparkly microphone on her way out. She was introduced and that was when she made her entrance, walking to the centre of the stage, all stage lights had turned dark so that she couldn't be seen until after she had started singing.

Taylor struck a pose and raised the microphone so that it was an inch away from her pink lip gloss lips. And as she closed her eyes, she sang the very first note of the song.

_This town, Another Friday night in this town_

_Drivin' home from another week workin', Sun up, to sun down_

_Your eyes, those baby blues are lookin' real tired_

_Tired of the same old same old, Nothin' goin' on in this town_

_Two more exits till our exit, Why don't we just keep on drivin'_

Then the white light shone directly down on her like a spotlight. And suddenly all eyes were on her like glue. She heard the beat of a drum and the sound of a bass guitar echoing in the background.

_We won't be missin' till monday baby_

_Let's turn this car into a getaway Chevrolet_

_Push the pedal down, turn the radio loud_

_Just like that, maybe never come back and let's_

_Ride on outta here, disappear, what do you say?_

_We won't be missin' till monday_

Taylor slowly opened her eyes but her focus wasn't on anyone in particular. Her time on tour had taught her to focus on the back wall so that she wouldn't show those nervous butterflies fluttering around in the pit of her stomach.

_One more exit, Till our exit_

_Why don't we just blow right by yeah_

_We won't be missin' till monday baby_

_Let's turn this car into a getaway Chevrolet_

_Push the pedal down, turn the radio loud_

_Just like that, maybe never come back and let's_

_Ride on outta here, disappear, what do you say?_

_We won't be missin' till monday_

She moved to the opposite side of the stage and stood on the spot, gripping the microphone with two hands to sing the final verse of the song.

_I feel inside, Let's run away_

_We don't need a plan; I'm tired of talkin' 'bout one day_

_Someday, We won't be missin' till monday_

Then she raised her hand to the side and repeated the chorus one last time.

_We won't be missin' till Monday baby_

_Let's turn this car into a getaway Chevrolet_

_Push the pedal down, turn the radio loud_

_Just like that, maybe never come back and let's_

_Ride on outta here, disappear, what do you say?_

_We won't be missin' till Monday, Mm_

_We won't be missin' till Monday._

And finally after the song came to an end, Taylor gave a slight bow to the audience along with a thank you then exited the stage, returning to the back room where she kicked off her gladiator shoes, tossing them to the side of the table and sat back down in the cushy black chair.

She then picked up her phone, scrolling through her messages then checked on Facebook. She might have been on tour for almost a month but that didn't mean she didn't keep up with the gossip around school. She wondered if her friends would soon begin to comment on her first single. Would they like it? Would they like her?

Then there was a sudden knock on the door. Taylor called out come in, door's open. And when the door opened, she was surprised to see someone she hadn't expected to see, not since she turned down his offer to give him another chance.

"Conner." Of all the words in her vocabulary, the only word she could say right now was his name.

He hung back by the door, tucking his hands into the front of his jeans pockets. "Hi," he said back. Silence ensued for a brief moment, neither knowing what to say to each other. Almost four and a half weeks had gone by since that unfortunate night when Conner had asked her to stay here rather than go on the tour. She knew his heart was breaking when she left him for the tour. How were they to come back from that? What was she supposed to say to him to make things all better between them?

"So um, you were great out there tonight," Conner finally said.

Taylor drew in a quiet breath. "Thanks," she said softly. "And thanks for coming. It means a lot to me to know my family and friends are there to show their support."

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else other than here. We may not be a couple anymore but that doesn't mean I don't still care about you. You'll always be special to me."

It meant a lot to Taylor to have her ex-boyfriend talk about her like that.

"So how long are you back for?" Conner asked.

"Just for tonight. I'm leaving for New York in the morning. The record label want me to shoot the music video for my first song as soon as possible."

Then they were both interrupted by a woman probably in her early thirties with short auburn hair.

"Taylor, we really need to go over a couple of things for this video shoot before you take off to the airport. There are also people waiting to interview you about your debut single on the phone." She wasted little time getting straight down to business. She was obviously one of those ruthless record label people. The woman was talking as though Conner didn't even exist in not only the room but also Taylor's life. She had seen certainly seen straight though him like he wasn't there.

Taylor felt her attention levitate away from Sheila, her sometimes scary but highly regarded publicist, toward Conner as she watched her ex-boyfriend shy away, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his faded blue baggy jeans. He then vanished out of the room without so much of a quick goodbye. Taylor would have liked to have talked to him more but she knew she couldn't be rude to Sheila. Whatever she had to say was usually very important. Taylor just wished she had more time to spend with Conner. She missed his companionship. She missed him.

* * *

Two and a half hours later on the way to the airport, Taylor sat in the back seat of the yellow taxi contemplating her time away from home. The memories she had on the tour would last forever but was she ready to start her new life as a popstar? Would she be able to uphold her status and stay true to herself all the while being thrust into the spotlight of fame and fortune now she was signed to a major record label? Could she leave her friends and family for months at a time or as long as it would take before she produced a debut album. She wasn't so sure. As happy as she was that people wanted her to make the kind of songs she liked to sing, she wasn't one hundred percent certain she could do this all on her own right now.

Then her mind began racing back to Conner and of all the times she had shared with him. How he had helped her to realise she couldn't quit dancing even when she wasn't supposed to be dancing on her legs after the earthquake. How he had turned down her offer to have meaningless sex because he knew she wasn't that kind of girl. How he had publically confessed his feelings for her in the school parking lot. And how even after she couldn't go to the homecoming dance because she couldn't afford to buy a new dress when her father lost his job, he still managed to make the night special for her.

But then there were the bad memories she just wanted to forget ever happened but couldn't like the alcohol addiction and kissing Tia. But none of that mattered anymore because she couldn't lose Conner yet. She didn't want to let him go. She wasn't ready or prepared to leave him. Her heart belonged with Conner. But at the same time she couldn't pass up an opportunity as big as making a music video. She was torn over the choice she should make and really didn't know what to do.

It had been an impulsive decision but one she had mulled over too many times while sitting in the taxi on the way to the airport. And she thought it had been the right decision to make which is why she was standing where she was. She gave the right fare to the driver then before the taxi even drove away, Taylor jumped out of the cab and raced through the old white picket fence along the cobbled stones, tapping on the door which is where she stood for what felt like a century until the door opened. And then she saw him.

"Hi."


End file.
